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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is it enough just to be loved?

11 replies

StirredNotShaken · 16/12/2016 23:27

Odd question maybe but I am in a relationship with someone who loves me deeply. It is a long distance relationship - we see one another maybe once every 2 - 3 weeks for an overnight 'date'. He has his life, I have mine, we will never move in together or change our lifestyles for lots of reasons. We get on great, he is loving, supportive, funny, kind and generally a very good human. We have fun in our limited time together and it is always good to see him. I have two children - a teenager and a primary school aged son so my situation is rather more difficult to juggle than his. But......there is something missing for me. I don't even know what it is. Am I expecting too much? I don;t even know what I am saying. Is this enough to keep going?

OP posts:
Cricrichan · 16/12/2016 23:41

You've got to love him too..

Summerlovinf · 16/12/2016 23:57

No it's not enough by the sounds of it...or at least, not what you're looking for

Original poster
StirredNotShaken · 17/12/2016 00:08

I do love him, sometimes! I mean the feelings come and go. I appreciate him, I know he is a very good person but is that only because I take nothing from him?? He can live his life, as can I and we don't impinge on one another's freedom. Is that what some people actually crave?

OP posts:
YetAnotherGuy · 17/12/2016 00:54

Fast forward 20 years, and if this situation has not changed, what will you be thinking?

Feelinglikeafailure · 17/12/2016 01:05

Honestly. No.

Manumission · 17/12/2016 01:07

No of course it's not. And if you felt it was, it would be a sign of something wrong.

Why don't you wish yourself all good things?

BlueFolly · 17/12/2016 01:10

It sounds great to me, but if you're not happy, then you're not happy.

Iamthinking · 17/12/2016 03:22

Yes, it sounds great to me too, and I think it is what I would like.
You haven't mentioned the sex side. Is that what is lacking?

Manumission · 17/12/2016 03:32

I think it might be one of those things that sounds good in theory but feels like shit in practice.

You have to be a bit hard or cynical to make 'settling' work I think (because that's what it is).

DorindaJ · 17/12/2016 03:54

It is for some people, but not for you. It maybe that you hi need a convenient to clarify things, make some kind of future plan together, so you can feel there is more than just 'here and now' with your partner.

DorindaJ · 17/12/2016 03:56

Oh dear...typos galore. What you need is a conversation

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