Talking to an ex is not a good idea, right?

[NeonPinkNails]

Long story short, with DH for 20 years, married for 15. Happy enough if not exactly setting the world on fire, much as you are after that long. Only other long term relationship for me was for 4 years when I was late teens/early 20s.

So guess who pops up on Facebook the other day? (Other long term ex in case you weren't sure). Ended up messaging back and forth for most of the day, sharing memories and old photos. He says he's not looking for anything more (although he's in the process of splitting from his wife) and I'm definitely not.

But...it was so nice to talk, to remember a time when I was young and thin and cool (ish) and to hear someone say nice things about me - nothing he shouldn't have, just how much he thought of me.

We ended the conversation on a good note and promised to stay in touch so I know I should leave it there but I so want to message him again. I'm honestly not looking for anything to happen (don't really find him that attractive any more) but for some reason I want to keep the conversation going. I've been checking my phone every 5 minutes ever since like a stupid teenager .

Would it be so bad if I messaged him again?

It sounds like you need to sort your marriage out one way or the other. Then they way forward will be clearer. Also, it will be infinitely less messy and painful for everyone involved.

This was me a few years ago. Except my then husband was EA. The ex (from school) gave me the strength I needed to walk away from a nasty husband. Still with the ex a few years on, one DC together (I already had 2), getting married next year. Couldn't be happier.

I thought we were happy enough and had assumed we'd just tick along for a while at least. It has surprised me how this has made me feel. But my parents had a very messy divorce so I'm committed to staying together at least until DD leaves home (5 years maybe).

I know now why I married DH and it wasn't for the right reasons. That's not to say I don't love him, I do and he's been a fairly good husband and dad but you can't get that spark back when it was never really there in the first place .

I know ex is not the answer but he's stirred up feelings I didn't know I had and don't want to have.