Financial abuse?

[Roastturnip]

Is lack of contribution to household costs, despite working full time, financial abuse? Amongst a whole load of other shit, it's dawning on me that the lack of financial contribution is a form of control too? I pay the mortgage and all the childcare costs, all the utility bills. Everything. If I ask for contribution and he agrees, its on his terms. "I'll pay half the gas bill". Sometimes he says he'll pay something and then doesn't, so I then end up paying anyway.

(I'm in process of separating but it's so hard as he won't leave and I can't because of mortgage situation. I'm getting legal advice soon and having counselling but am just trying to make sense of everything. )

Does he know you are in the process of separating?
He sounds like a selfish prick.
Yes it's a form of financial abuse.
I really hope you manage to get him out soon though.
Get yourself a good solicitor.

In answer to your initial question posed that is yes and financial abuse is another form of coercive control.

No man is above the law and you certainly need good legal advice from a solicitor who is well versed in the ways of controlling men.

Controlling men rarely if ever leave of their own accord because they also know that they have been onto a good thing here. Also leaving their targeted victims behind means that they have to put new effort in into finding another woman to control. Such people therefore rarely let go of their victims easily.

I take it as read you are doing counselling on your own.

Womens Aid are also worth talking to on 0808 2000 247

He should have plenty of money if he hasn't had to put his hand in his pocket all this time. Is he refusing to ever leave, or just refusing to leave immediately?

Are you married?

Are you talking about your husband or your partner and if it's your partner is he part owner of the property / on the mortgage?

Thanks all. Yes counselling on my own...

I am planning to speak to womens aid next week, I have annual leave so have an opportunity to go see them without him knowing.

Yes we are married and have a joint mortgage. He has made no effort to find a place despite saying he would. I doubt he has any intention to go anywhere. He has a pretty cushy life. He's a water torturer type according to the abuse types thread that was here the other night. I am just going through the realisation of what's been going on