How do you know if DH or DP is having an affair?

[JellyNump]

I have a real gut feeling something else is going on although he gets really defensive and cross and swears blind there is nothing. He has said recently he wants to split up. He has been acting really weird. He says he has to go back into work late at night and spends ages on his mobile outside the house to a 'work mate' I know damn well who she is. She phones him on his days off and late at night and he has been staying out at the w/ends now. TBH I am a bit glad to be splitting up as I feel I am going mad and am quite upset it has worked out like this really. I know he lies to me, today I saw a receipt for a b&b and when I asked where he stayed last night he said at a mates house, I said, no you didnt you stayed at the Box Hedge B&B!!! He then tried saying, well maybe my mate owns it!??!?!

think you know the answer to this jellynump. Show him the door and get on with your life

Yeah right! Sounds very dodgy to me. I'd phone the B&B and say you're his wife and you left xx in the room, have they found it? A B&B is small enough they will probably remember guests from yesterday.

Get outta there!

Good idea Tribpot!

i had wondered about calling them

tell him you are too good for him and want to call it a day. act seriously. give him a few days to think it over, but act like you mean it

he's already said he wants to split up but he keeps making things worse for us. he's been SO much nicer since he told me butthen in the next minute hes being a complete b@$t@rd

I want to leave but he has said that he needs the car (which is in my name and he is on my insurance) to get to work. I also need the car to get to work and get DD to Mum's or aunties to be looked after and I just want o move back into Mum's. I'm worried he will say he can't get to work and not make an effort to go which means he'll lose his job and won't pay the mortgage, which is in both our names. He has said if he loses his job it will stuff me and dd up cos my credit will be bad and he 'doesn't care' if he has bad credit!

Dont make him make you feel guilty by what he says. i am sure "someone" can take him to work if they are that interested! You go to your parents and get a rest and get your head together. It is his problem that he has made you feel like this and his choice so i think you should take a turn and do what you need to do. Let him suffer for a bit.

He can get his 'workmate' to drive him if they're that close! Have you asked him calmly to give you the courtesy that a dumped gf deserves and tell the truth? Also, have you discussed selling the house?

So the car's in your name and on your insurance....guess he's gonna have to get his own car when he leaves then.....seriously, you know the answer to your question..get rid.

You know what the answer is - but I would also check your bank statements - if he's avoiding putting anything on the credit card - there will be larger summs than normal being withdrawn from bank machines.
While we're onthat subject - I would lay low for a while, while you plan on your own how to get your joint finances sorted out.
Good luck.

Ooh yes, trip to the bank tomorrow might be a good idea.