Should I expect more from my solicitor?

[Isaintheshop]

Very close to a year since I asked for a divorce, and 11 months since I first met my family law solicitor. STBXH emotionally and financially abusive, spent nearly 2 hours getting it all out first meeting which was great. Sent several letters asking for him to seek representation -all ignored only things then worse at home. He knows its likely to go to court. EXH still in the same house and refsuing to go anywhere but its toxic as hell. Had another solicitor meeting in Sep to try and get the ball rolling....

Problem is that my solicitor now seems to busy to ever do anything or phone me back. Its 5 weeks since I last saw her and apparently we were ready to go just about with the court stuff - no word. I've been chasing since Mon - no one is phoning me back. I've had multiple phone or in person appointments as they get cancelled usually as she's in court so I;m sure it can't be helped - but I'm a hospital consultant so trying to even get these appointments is a struggle and I can hardly stop operating to talk to my solicitor. I am very very near writing a letter of complaint but am really worried it'll impair things completely.
Are all solicitors like this? My secretary wouldn't work with me if I never phoned my patients back....

Please call Womens' Aid for advice. Your solicitor should be working on your behalf and should respond to phone calls etc. It sounds untenable and a wretched situation.

That's ridiculous. Change your solicitor.

If you are generally happy with her work I would suggest you call tomorrow and just stay on hold until she comes to the phone. Solicitors who leave the secretary to field the annoyed clients are pains in the butt

Have you actually instructed sol to issue petition? You don't have to wait for him to get representation (mine didn't, tbh was a pain though).

This sounds very poor. Sadly some solicitors are just crap, like any other profession. When I was getting divorced I had to disinstruct a very well known firm of sols half way through because my experience was just like yours. The next one I found was great though.

I'd send an email copied to the senior partner of the firm setting out your views and saying if no action then you will have to instruct another firm.

Find someone else

This sounds terrible. My divorce was almost concluded in this time and my ex fought every step of the way refusing everything. My lawyer said 'No messing' and took him to court at the earliest opportunity.

There are lots of really bad solicitors out there. She doesn't sound great to be honest.

Thank you. You've rather confirmed what I thought. She is a specialist in collaborative law and I was really keen to try and have a collaborative divorce. I suspect this has led to the slow intro but its been terrible since. I was foolsih enough to be talked into trying mediation by STBXH but after waiting for 3 months decided there was nothign would change my mind back into wanting to be married - so that delay is my fault.
I see a Women's Aid rep monthly. She keeps saying "and does your solicitor know this?" - I say "Yep"
I have been asking for the court stuff to go in since Sep. I suspect the whole firm has too much work on and not enough solicitors as when I;ve been there she has had multiple urgent calls etc.
I think I will email and insist the court petition is in before Christmas and if not will be seeking alternative representation. Which is a total ball ache but hey ho.
Thank you wise MN

Mine was a Resolution trained sol - but Ex refused v early on to go that route. So I issued petition.

He wouldn't do financial disclosure (sol had sent him a Form E to do it on, and, with no professional advice to call on, refused to fill in anything so official looking ). So I had to go via court route for settlement.

Sol said court would want us to have tried mediation. Mediation sent us letters to make individual assessment appointments, I paid £100 for mine. 3 weeks after letter arrived, I attended appt and was signed off back to sol/court as Ex had not even contacted them.

Sol was Shit Hot Lawyer. I got what I wanted, and she even got £500 out of him towards costs of financial settlement. Ex was a dickhead who delayed every move to piss me off and wasted time by proposing things that a sol would have advised him were non-starter, and by not knowing things like he needed to send reply to my Questionnaire to Court as well as my sol. Even though he wanted divorce!

(I wasn't too phased by his delaying tactics, as it gave me more time to think, and consult MN :). Though twas hell at the time.)

All the best

LTB

lemon

Sorry, I blurted out my divorce there! Points being: a) Resolution trained sols can be SHL; b) you will get there despite dickhead ex

Am also going through the divorce from hell but my sols are good which takes some of the strain off me at least. I would also suggest changing sols - I wouldn't even give them till Xmas to send the petition - just go ahead and look elsewhere particularly if you can before Xmas as I'm sure they get busier in the new year.

Mine is London-based but branches in a lot of places, I can send you the details if you would like.

Thank you all. It sucks so much. Never thought I'd be thinking LTB for this particular scenario. Feel I should give her a timed ultimatum as she has pages and pages and pages detailing all the abusive crap I've had from him. The thought of starting from scratch with someone else is weridly really hard. I must have some sort of legal Stockholm syndrome

Early on I emailed SHL a list of various unreasonable behaviours. She boiled it down to 6 properly written ones, and that's what went in the petition.

Also, the longest appt I had with her was an hour (apart from negotiation re settlement, me and him and her present, which he finally agreed to, and at which we settled). She was careful not to answer wailing emails sent at the dead of night, but prompt re the important ones. (It all costs money, and is billed to the minute.)

But after every contact with her, I felt a bit more empowered.

Same here, it's quite frustrating but I had the same - pages and pages of injustice that the sol whittled down to a page of bare facts. Now that I am further down the process with final hearing looming I can see that his pages of ranting do not present well in court at all. Judges don't like it apparently and I can see how they need the facts and nothing more.

It is a pain to change (I changed barrister and paid to rebrief a new one but the relief of having someone competent on my side was immense. Not returning your calls or updating you is really not good.

For context - my sol received an email from ex on Monday. She immediately forwarded it to me and told me what her reply was going to be.
I called her on Tuesday and she didn't pick up and didn't call me back.
I called on Weds and she didn't pick up. About 30 mins later I got an email apologising for not calling me. Attached was also an update letter and she asked me to call again if I needed to. I didn't need to.

I feel like she has my back and you should have that level of confidence in someone you are paying a fortune to. Good luck

It might be helpful to say how I found her. Heard about Resolution on MN, looked up divorce info on there, thought I would try Resolution process. Which came up with her name, so checked out her profile on there.

The vital thing for me (apart from her being a woman): she had graduated several decades ago, hence had got years of experience, especially of twisty STBXes.

Being a Resolution member, or Resolution accredited (I am both) really doesn't mean a lawyer will be a pushover, or weak. I am very committed to the principles of Resolution, but in my heart, I bloody love a good scrap, and most decent family solicitors are the same.

You need to spell out to her how you want her to proceed, and what you won't tolerate (like non returned calls!) Make it clear if tbere's not a dramatic improvement, you will leave. You want you petition issued before Christmas, no more dicking about.

Is the firm a legal aid provider?