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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I know I shouldn't but I'm feeling really sorry for myself

2 replies

Lostsoul231 · 14/12/2016 13:10

I recently split from my bf of 3 1/2 years. I posted about the relationship a few weeks ago and split shortly after. We didn't live together so at least, financially it's not made much of impact but I just feel like such a failure. I try to remain positive but life just seems to keep knocking me down.

I know I've made the right decision for me and my kids but I can't help feeling like I am such a loser.

I feel like I've had nothing but failed relationships, have recently been made redundant, am struggling to pay my rent (my parents are great and helping me out financially at the moment but i feel guilty about that). Also my youngest son is having emotional and behavioural difficulties (he's on the waiting list for an ADOS assessment for autistic spectrum). I can't look for another job at present as I need to be full time with my son until he's settled down.

My three siblings are all married, have sucesful careers and all own their own lovely homes and have kids without the problems my son has. I'm just here feeling like a failure.

When we split, my ex bf (who is quite well off) said to me, "well you don't have a job, any money, your own home, or a decent pension" It's really hurt me and made me feel even worse about my situation.

I know I should be thankful for having such supportive parents and for my children but I am so embarrassed about my situation. I've always worked so hard in my career and have been loving and caring in my relationships but for nothing, it seems.

I want to make 2017 a better year but don't know how to under the current circumstances.

OP posts:
baconandeggies · 14/12/2016 13:24

I am so embarrassed about my situation.

Stop that right now! ;) Don't allow yourself to be hurt by that final (weak) shot he made at you - it reeks of his absolute desperation - what a sad wanker he is.

I want you to think of three things you've achieved each day that you're proud of - even little things. Not so much about being 'thankful', but beginning to feel PROUD of what you do.

Comparing yourself to others is a fools errand.

Adora10 · 14/12/2016 16:28

Agree with above, definitely.

Also, don't be fooled by the exterior of any relationship, what goes on behind closed doors can be very different to what is portrayed to the outside world!

You can make 2017 a better year, all by yourself!

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