happy stories of finding the right man

[requiring]

I was hoping you could all cheer me up with stories of finding a wonderful partner after a series of low key crap and unfulfilling relationships.

I'm 28, newly single. I did love my ex, he never did anything to harm me or deliberately upset me, but he was so distant and 'busy' all the time and I couldn't get close to him. I tried, really hard. Before that my ex of 3 yrs was a similar story - not a bad man but it just took a long time for me to realise how completely incompatible we were. Before that, similar story. The breakups have all been basically mutual, we both knew it was going nowhere by the end.

Just feeling like I'm doomed to be continually doing this - dating perfectly nice men but just so wrong for me! Has anyone else felt like this and then been proved wrong? Have you met the love of your life after a series of low key crap relationships? It's getting hard to stay positive...

Yes I am with the love of my life. We got together when I was 44 and he was 47. I had been divorced after ex hub had an affair. Then I was seeing someone for a couple of years but it was never going to go anywhere. I envisioned a single old age surrounded by cats! I had known my current partner as a friend and always liked him. I took the plunge and told him how I felt. The rest is history and we are ridiculously happy!

Yes! Finally met the right man after a series of relationships when I was 40. I'd had long term relationships before that but they just hadn't been 'right'. In hindsight I can see I should have finish some of them earlier than I did, especially the exDP who checked out of the relationship, went online dating and basically moved out of our house into his next girlfriends. (I wasn't on MN then, but would have benefited from a 'leave the bastard' message).

That doesn't matter now though, as I met my lovely DH online and it's so much easier Good luck! You may have to kiss a lot of frogs, but the right person's out there for you.

ok, I can share mine :-)
I was with an abusive man from 16 to 22, I thought he was the only one that understood me etc..... Then I finally saw sense and left him for my boss who was lovely but not right for me. After 4 years in that relationship I was single for a year. During that year I had a whale of a time (if you get me) but thought " oh crap, im hitting 28 and all the good guys seem to be taken. After a year of being single I bumped into a guy I had known for years. After 6 months he moved in, after 13 months I got pregnant and we are still together 6.5 years later. I wasn't expecting to meet anyone and all of a sudden he just popped up and is perfect for me. I do wonder sometimes how awful my life would have turned out with that horrible man. It took me a whole year to get over him but I knew it was a good move. And it was.. xx

OP I am the same as you, always had perfectly okay boyfriends but never fell madly in love. Ended up in an abusive relationship and I'm now a single mum with a baby. I don't think I have the capacity to truly 'fall in love' and accept someone completely and compromise my life. I've never met a man who I thought was 'amazing' and have never dreamt of being married. Interested to see others experiences.

These are nice :) thank you I am happy you all found it in the end!
I just almost wish my exes had been bad people... so I could feel more 'onwards and upwards' about it... but they have all been nice and lovely and probably will be excellent boyfriends to the right person. Just feel like I'm doomed to keep finding perfectly nice men and not the one that actually suits me for a long term happy relationship!

Marmalade... I know what you mean. I also don't know if I am capable of being on the receiving end of proper true love. As all my boyfriends have been distinctly 'low key' in their affections for me... they say they love me but their actions and future plans say otherwise...

My boyfriends have always professed their undying love to me but perhaps I'm just dead inside I find it utterly bizarre when someone starts gushing about their DP as I have never felt like that. My relationships never last longer than 2 years as they start to annoy me and I get bored.

Yes! My ex husband had a long affair and we split when I was early 30s. I had a few relationships of a few months each but always felt there was something missing. Then met my boyfriend who I've been with over a year now and he is amazing, everything just clicks. I know it's early days still and neither of us are perfect but we're so happy together and I know he'd do anything for me (as I would for him). Keep going with the dating but be picky, don't settle and enjoy your life at the same time.

I'm marrying "the one" on Saturday. Mid 40's. Both had unfaithful spouses. Mine was very abusive. 2 kids of similar ages each.

25 years ago I don't suppose I'd have given him a second glance. 15 years ago we'd probably have fucked it up. But I'm not the same person I was then either.

Now we are just bloody nice to each other.
There's zero boundary pushing. We listen to each other. We support each other and we do our best to be tolerant. 4 kids is a challenge though.