Dreading Christmas

[conway]

I have been divorced over a year after coming out of an abusive relationship.
it is my turn to have the kids this Christmas. Last year we went to my ex's and pretended to be a happy family.
I have invited my mum and dad over but as my dad is an alcoholic and a recluse and also abusive he won't come. My mum doesn't want to come as she doesn't want to leave my dad on his own. My kids won't go there as hate it.
The other issue is my eldest son (15) has taken over where is dad has left off and mealtimes are a battlefield with him criticising me and his younger brother. I am dreading Christmas dinner.
I know I am lucky to have the boys at Christmas and when I read these posts realise I am very lucky.
To make matters worse the first guy I trusted for years has not contacted me after I slept with him. (On line dating) .
I am feeling very low and need to somehow get through Christmas.
Christmas is so hard for divorcees and widows.

How about taking a moment and thinking about what you want to do at Christmas? Just enjoy your sons, let the 15 year old criticise and let it wash over you, and make it special for your younger child. Sit them down in advance and tell them how you want it to go - get their input. You mum and dad have made their choice. You can't influence that, but you can have some control over what you want.

Could you afford to go to a hotel? Even for your dinner? Something a bit special, a novelty & might help your 15yr old behave himself.

Not just divorcees and widows sadly. I think a huge number of people find it very hard, me included.

I think you have to try and find the joy in it and minimise the bad bits. What would make christmas more fun for you? Do you have a favourite film? A favourite food? Treat yourself. My family has had a really tough year this year so I've bought a load of comedy hats to give us all a giggle. Here! we'll all be eating our main meal wearing these which to be honest I can't wait for. There are other things like board games which if you can bribe your kids to play do make you all laugh and talk.

Is you son accessing counselling? If he's mimicking the abuse that needs nipping in the bud now. Easier said than done I know but being very firm at this point as to what you will and won't accept is crucial. Do get some help with that if you can.

Ultimately it is just one day to get through. There's always hope so next year might be better. Come on here for a cry if it gets too much. There will be lots who understand.

Agree with sassy could you not go out for xmas dinner to a hotel or your local carvery? It breaks the day up, it's not your cooking he's criticising, he possibly may behave better in public.
As for the guy forget about him he's not worth your time the creep