DH has been messaging ex

[lilypoppet]

So, my DH has been on Facebook - he won't accept my friend request - and I clock on his messages and realise that last year, and for the previous year, he has been messaging his exwife. They have no children and she only married him so she could stay in the UK. He tracked her down on Facebook and he messaged her. He asked her if they could meet for coffee but I don't know if he ever did. I confronted him about it. No apology. Tries to attack me for snooping. This is the straw that broke the camel's back in a long list of unfaithful behaviour that never really amounts to a proper affair, but which is disrespectful to our marriage nontheless. The worst part, was that he told this person, a stranger to me, our three childrens' names, including our middle daughter's nickname. It made me feel sick to my stomach.

At that age it is definitely up to your children where they live.

I personally do not understand the problem with him being in touch with someone he knew before, but he is a lazy arse if he claims that he can't work because of diabetes. My friend is a dentist and 67 years old and still working and doing all kinds of things with diabetes and other health problems.

He won't get custody. The courts generally won't give custody to someone who hasn't got a job, and who claims they're incapable of working. Add to that the fact that you're the woman/mother (always viewed more favourably in the eyes of the court), and he's got no real chance. He's just using this is a way to manipulate you into staying with him.

And as others have said, once children are teenagers (sometimes even younger), they have the say in which parent they live with.

My 16 year old wants to go to uni in Yorkshire where we lived for three years so sadly I've accepted her going when she's 18. My youngest is ten so I am hoping I can get custody if her and buy a two bedroom house near where my 22 year old will live which will be somewhere near London. So I'm planning to leave him over the next 18 months.He dies do odd jobs now and again but he claims he needs a garage and we do have one at the moment.