Realised a friend ive had for ten years is a petty bitch. Does anyone know anyone like this?

[Kateallison16]

So shes blocked me on all social media and has shunned me trying to speak to her.

Come one Kate, what have you done? You must have done something for her to treat you this way?

Well mumsnet, yes I have. I have had some good things happen to me for the first time in my life.

Since my early teens life has been pretty shit, various cancers, abusive family, death of child, loss of fertility - all the normal stuff rolls eyes

She was at my daughters funeral, shes seen me at my worst. I thought we were friends. Shes has soem rough times, shes broke. She has a lay about DP (There really is no other way of putting it)
But I have supported her through it and made what gestures I could. Everytime we saw eachother she would bring her daughter (same age as mine would have been) but even though it hurt I went along with it, even though my luck on the child side of things had officially run out.
id send christmas and brithday gifts and get back nothing - I didnt care she was my friend end of the day.

Now something is at last going right for me. Ive come into a bit of money

(I have NOT told her or anyone else this, but she does know through the grapevine Im looking for my first car which is quite nice. Put 2+2 together sort of thing)

And she has gone out of her way to take me out of her life. Shunned me completely and made digs about me on social media. I am just stunned that someone could turn on me like that and im hurt.
I put way too much effort into that friendship and tried so hard not to feel envious after the death of my child. But it feels like now Ive got something she wants ive got to go.

before anyone jumps on the "humblebrag" bandwagon this is not. I am genuinely upset that the one time something goes ok for me im ousted out.

I know there is no "advice" you can give ladies, I just wanted an ear x

It's weird she's behaved like that - I was expecting you to say she was all over you, in the hope she'd benefit from the money herself. At least she's not doing that.

A friend would be happy for you for having some good luck, particularly after the sad times you've had. If she can't be happy for you, she's not much of a friend.

What did she say when you rang her up to ask what was going on and if you had done anything to upset her?

Clutching at straws here, but does she possibly feel hurt that you didn't tell her about your windfall?

(Not that that justifies her behaviour, which is indeed pretty odd, and the non-reciprocity of gifts is pretty shitty too...)

So sorry for your loss

Yes, I have had this happen. I lost a "friend" when things started going well for me.

This was a few years ago now and I haven't missed her at all.

Good luck with the new car

Don't allow yourself to be hurt. Set up your profiles you you can't see her 'digs'. Tell any mutual friends you don't want any reports. Sounds like the relationship ended long ago and she's either jealous or hurt to have not been told your news directly. Either way - she's not your friend

It's time to cut your losses. She isn't going to be happy for you, the pity party for two is over. Life is getting better for you and she doesn't like it. You don't deserve to have negativity in your life. You need to
Surround yourself with people who genuinely care for you and who will be happy for you.

Thanks ladies

I text her at first and heard nothing, so dropped her a line on messenger wishing her a happy christmas and again, she saw it and said nothing. Saw her and she shunned me.
I then text asking what was up and are we alright and she went on a delete frienzy.

I think you are all right, I think it ended long ago.
Its just a shame, I dont have many friends and those I have I treasure.
I am not very open with money so I havent told anyone, its not something I openly discuss.

Oh well, no point crying over spilt milk. There is no point in starting a petty war over it and im not pestering her for an explaination, we both know what the answer is to be honest.

Thanks for being here mumsnet

What a horrible mean cow she is. She's not a friend, she's a frenemy. Of course it's sad to lose someone you considered close, but hopefully this frees up space for a genuine friend now.

I had a mate drop me and block me on FB because my new house was worth more than hers.

Was just circumstances. She liked freezing Victorian terraces. I like 70s semis. Also DP was weirdly obsessed with having a garage and neither her or her bloke seemed bothered by them.

I didn't go out of my way to 'top' her. Just our house happened to cost more money.

Anyway, she stopped talking to me.

No, no this is the second thing that's going right for you and more will follow.
I know how pain full this must be but you are better off without her. If there is truly nothing else than the money thing, by that I mean something that she thinks you've said or done then the only ugly thing it can be is that she has (quite wrongly ) viewed you as a benchmark and judged her life against yours. Lay about partner, yes but doesn't even come close to the utter agony of losing a child - that kind of repulsive thing.
Now things are going well for you she is maybe forced to take a good look at her own hand of cards in the harsh light of day and she can't handle it.
Or:
She has got some wrong info and thinks you've had the cash for a while already and haven't shared it with her?
Either way you don't need people like this in your life lovely, You really don't.
If I wasn't posting on MN and was instead talking with some of my more woo friends I would say that you've raised your vibration and the the law of attraction is sending you things that match that and that she is not in a similar place. But I wouldn't say something like that on Mumsnet so don't worry.

I had a friend like this. Emphasis on the word had.

She seemed to take pleasure in my being upset, or sad. Would make any drama all about her. But when my life finally found itself back on the rails and I was enjoying myself she couldn't stand it.

We don't talk now.

My advice is, as hard as it is to lose an old friend, let her go. She obviously can't stand to see you happy. Not a real friend IMO.

I had a 'friend' like this. I always felt she struggled as I am not renting, and I have a car. No one stopped her from doing the same things in life that I have, she chose not to. I have had immense problems in life to overcome, no real support and no partner whilst she has a big supportive family and a partner.

So I thought it sort of equalled out and we had other things in common which meant we were friends for years.

I then lose my mother and get an inheritance. I thought she might be happy for me but seemed very resentful. She just couldn't handle it and in time made a row about nothing much and tells me the friendship is over. It's fine with me, I've run around so much for her and done a lot for her I can now relax.

Enjoy your good fortunes in life OP and let the bitter, mean spirited people squirm in their unhappiness.

Meant to add our 'friendship' was fine whenever I was in a bad place, very low or unhappy and that was what gave my 'friend' satisfaction....observing that someone else was suffering made her feel good about herself. Change the dynamics....friendship over.

Cant believe how much all of you are making sense.

I think you are totally right about the dynamics changing.

When my daughter died and I was ill I wonder if she saw it as she was "one up" I am sorry I know how sick that sounds, but I honestly am wondering.

The support here has been amazing. Thank you so much x

I can relate to this. My twin sister was and is still like this.
I looked after her son for years, helped her move, did so much for her. Whilst I was single and childless and depressed, she was one up on me. She seemed to thrive on my not-as-succesful-as-her life.

When I met DH, fell pregnant and was happy the dynamics changed completely. Shes met my DS a handful of times, ignored his 1st and 2cnd birthdays and blanked/deleted/slagged me on social media and to our family.

People like that arent your friends. They are selfish narcs and it takes you having that bit of good fortune to see who they truly are.
I'm sorry this woman has hurt you but you are better off without her.
Let it go and move on. Best wishes OP