Moving in together

[OhMrsQ]

Hello.
My lovely boyfriend and I are in the process of looking for apartments for us to move in to in the new year, together. He is adorable but I am terrified. I've only ever lived with two people - one was a useless layabout who never left the sofa, and the other was my ex husband, a controlling wanker who never let me be 'me' and as such our houses showed zero personality and looked like show homes.

Anyway. I'm just nervous. I'm so independent, I love my little apartment being the way I like it. He loves me the way I am, loves the way my apartment is decorated etc as well. Its just too small for both of us, otherwise he'd move right in. I don't want to lose my independence. Am I being silly?

Hey op

No your not being silly, it might be your not ready just yet, you've probably faught hard for your little slice of space and are quite unwilling to give it up. There's nothing wrong with being honest yourself and maybe him too.

Nope I feel the same and I'm 45 how long have you been together?

Is it really too small for both of you, for say 6 months? If you have a double bed and a 2 seater sofa, I'd say it'll do!
Why not do that first until you're sure?
FWIW although most of me can't wait til my fiancé moves in with me, I'm also unsure about not having my way, all the time!

I think that's normal.

Why would you like to live together? And does this outweigh the downsides?

Hi all, thanks for the replies. We've been together two years. Moving in to my place for a bit is very much an option. In fact that makes me feel a lot better. I just don't want to leave my lovely little place, which was my sanctuary after my abusive marriage, for a dark and dingy apartment. Well, of course then we just wouldn't move!