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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

communicating with my partner

4 replies

happymom79 · 11/12/2016 17:45

I have been in a relationship for 7 years. In the beginning it was absolutely perfect. In the first year we had our first son, we were so happy. Then I got pregnant again with our other son, deering my pregnancy he was working out of town. I was trying to take care of our new baby and my daughter. And was feeling lonely and depressed. At this time I could talk to him about anything so I told him how I was feeling. He didnt seem to care. So I did something I wished I could take back. I cheated on him 1 time. After that I seen his face and the hurt on his face about killed me. That has been 4 years ago and our relationship has not been the same. I thought we would become closer after everything we have been through, our son had kidney failer when he was born he was in the hospital for 2 months, it was terrible. We have split up 4 times after this and always end up back together. But i have distance myself from him , especially now Im working and trying to take care of the kids and bills while he stays at home. He is always wanting me to talk about our problems. I want to but when I do start to talk I go blank and no words will come out. When I do say something he has a way to use my words against me. I feel like anything I say is wrong or just stupid. I dont want to throw 7 years down the drain. I want my boys to hAVE thier dad. But i dont know how much emotional and verbal abuse i can take. Sometimes I feel he is just messy with my head. I need help, I dont know what to do anymore, i just shut down when he is around. and dont know what to say. Sometimes I hear him crying in the next room because i dont talk to him. I hate the way things are and I dont know what to do. Anything I say Im either lying or he says its bullshit. Someone please help me I love him and dont want to lose him............ I have to watch what I do and say when im around people, i have no friends just my mother.

OP posts:
happymom79 · 11/12/2016 18:42

please someone give me your opinion.I need some advise on how to fix my relationship. He says he is going to leave me if I dont start addressing our problems.

OP posts:
FlouncedBack · 11/12/2016 19:02

I didn't want to read and run. Sorry you're going through such a bad time - have you thought of counselling? It seems, firstly, that you both need to find a way to actually communicate that doesn't intimidate you and anger or frustrate your partner.

Cricrichan · 11/12/2016 20:20

I think your partner is finding it impossible to forgive and forget, however much he may be trying to. Sometimes once the trust is gone, it's gone forever and you can't get it back.

heyday · 11/12/2016 21:32

I think you need to say sorry to him for the hurt that you caused him and then be totally honest and say that you just can't carry on like this any longer because it is making you both so unhappy. Ask him what we feels you can both do to start to make things better but make it clear that if you can't both get over your difficulties then you will have to separate.

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