Anyone else have a very positive loving relationship with ex dh?

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My dh have divorced recently. No third party, and instigated my me. We fundamentally got on very well but he was hard man and was hardening as he the years went by, and I realised I just cookdnnkt be with someone who wasn't affectionate, loving and supportive. We have two young children and he was and is a wonderful father.

We do a lot of things together as a family four. We always get on very well. You would see us and think us a wonderfully happy family. The children love us being all together and it is sometimes easier for certain activities what with the youngest being just 3.

We certainly don't send each lovey messages, hold hands are anything remotely like that. But we care for one another, text regularly (always about the children) and when he had a health scars,no was his first port of call.

So, my question is this. Is anyone else in this situation? Of a very amicable divorce. Anyone further down the line and can tell me how things turned out?

We don't want to get back together and never will. But we do love one another, care for one another and deeply invested in our children having as stable happy childhood as we can possibly give. Are we living in cloud cuckoo land? Or can it work?

Thank you

I had a lovely relationship with my ex husband and his wife. We were all very close. It took a couple of years though for that to happen as he never wanted our marriage to end.

We texted often, spoke a few times a week and it was great. We were all really supportive of each other. We have three children together.

As for how it ended.. well he sadly passed away three years ago tomorrow.

I am so glad we got on so well. I was there for him and his wife at the end of his life and she would often come round after his death and cry on my shoulder. It made life so much easier for our children that we were friends.

We had the odd disagreement and there were things we all did that annoyed the other, just like family.

Not me, but my parents divorced when I was at the end of primary school and were absolutely brilliant co-parents who obviously still had huge respect and love for each other. Both had 1-2 significant relationships afterwards, my Mum was a model of tact and fortitude, my Dad less so (jealous to the extent that we sort of noticed, but no more, never any snide remarks or letting it impact on us). After 12ish years we'd all left home, so we used to get together a couple of times a year for big family gatherings and both of them would always come to those and get on absolutely brilliantly.

then about 15 years after their divorce they did in fact get back together and have been blissfully happy for a couple of years now, but let's ignore that for the purposes of this thread

We weren't married, (but lived together nearly 10 years and owned a house together) but I have an excellent close friendship with my ex DP. We talk often and travel in order to visit one another, and discuss our love lives. I have a new DP and son, he has had several serious relationships of varying degrees of success. We split because we just weren't on the same page as far as what we wanted next, and without the shared purpose all the intimacy dried up. I never regret the breakup at all, and I don't think he does either, although we both still obviously care about and like each other a lot.

Yes I am married - have been for 15+ years

It sounds slightly odd tbh - most amicable divorced couples I know worked to get to that stage rather than it being straightforward immediately.

If you divorced him for being 'hard' and not showing any affection, its hard to see why you love him now. And if you love him now why did you get divorced??

I agree with others that when he gets a new partner things may very well change. That's not to say you won't carry on having a relationship that is supportive of your children however.

badvocaattasteflump
Are you married? It's a complicated old business

It doesn't have to be

I think this is lovely if you can do it. My parents always presented their divorce as amicable but 30 years later and there is a lot of anger, bitterness and resentment.

I feel less stable in my 30s than I did as a child but I often wonder how damaging it has been to see the two people you love most in the world slag each other off. I'm not sure I am capable of truly kind and selfless relationships myself purely because I've seen my parents be so horrible to, and about, each other and haven't been exposed to them being nice to each other, so I struggle with what nice is, if that makes any sense at all.

So if you can split but keep it kind I think it's wonderful.