Meeting exh gf?

[mylifeisamystery]

I've asked exh if I can meet his new girlfriend, being as my DD is spending more and more time with her when she goes to see him, is that being unreasonable? I don't want to walk into town and see my DD with a stranger..
I've suggested exh meet my partner but he doesn't want to.

I think if he's ignoring, then he's not comfortable with it, so let it be.

I'm not sure there's a right or wrong answer TBH. I've known the ex wife introduce herself to the new GF and bypass the Exh.

I've had to meet my exh gf's before, because I like to know who my dc are in the company of......and he/they have always been ok with that. If they had been cagey or avoided it then I'd be thinking why...... I think it's natural as a mum to be wary of who their children meet/introduced to.
I liked exh prev gf, the on/off one he has now seemed okay but I'm not much of a fan after things I'd been told. Glad they haven't seen her for some time now tbh.

I met my exs now wife. It was even court ordered (he's a poor decision maker).

She's lovely (even though she was an ow) and has always treated my daughter well even at times prompting ex to be a better dad (though at this point even she's given up!)

We just went for a coffee, had a chat. She wasn't yet a mum at this stage so she had some questions/asked for some advice all good.

Why on earth would it not be the primary carers business who their child spends possibly a good deal of time with?

I'm divorced(happily) My ex met my last bf and they were fine. He's in an LTR (they live together) and my son spends a lot of time with her, likes her. All good. Amicable parenting relationship only with my ex. Again all good.

I've don't have any opinion or thoughts of her at all. She's V weird about me though. Even after they've been together almost two years ..

Recently it was his weekend and he normally collects DS on a Friday after work. I had afternoon off so picked DS up from school and took him into town for hair cut and bit of shopping. I text to say that's what I was doing so offered to drop him at theirs instead (at normal time), ex calls and asks how long we will be there as they both want to go to town too and his gf wants to go specific places so they will meet me there and we'd do handover (DS weekend things in my car).
Meets up and GF not there, I ask where she is and she'd refused to come and was lurking in some shops until I'd gone! Fuck knows why. Would have been a simple hello,nice to meet you and that would have been that. Was specifically asked if I was going straight home... why? Was she scared to bump into me?

Given that she's involved with a man with a child and presumably sees a long future with him, you'd think she'd want to be able to be amicable with me. Not asking us to bloody socialise or holiday together lol.

But! Now I've hijacked your thread! I wouldn't worry about it. Provided your kids are happy and have no issues with a GF just let it go.

There are plenty of people who will be in DDs life that you won't have met - TAs, people who work in activity groups etc. You can't vet everyone.

But that is not the same as the woman who is sharing their father's life, who they will live with for a good portion of their lives. Who will be partly responsible for bringing them up.

Of course it's natural to want to meet (not 'vet') them.

I don't expect to vet everyone my daughter meets but like I said before I would find it quite strange to meet my DD in the street with a 'stranger' if her dad wasn't there, I'm quite shocked most people think I'm being unreasonable about it. She doesn't have kids herself.

I think it's reasonable and I asked to meet exh fiancé once they appeared serious - she just popped in to say hi next time he picked up so nothing too scary.

I think it's so much nicer for the child if all parties can have some form of "friendship". We all get on fine now which enables us to all go to birthday parties / school things etc together.

I don't think it's unreasonable OP, just that you can't make it happen because you want it to. This is your ex husband's decision unfortunately. I think it would be nicer and easier for you to meet her but unless she makes it happen - or you just introduce yourself when you see her/your daughter together, it's not going to happen.

Just because you have offered for him to meet your partner doesn't mean that he will reciprocate. It sounds like he wants to keep things completely separate so, if you're happy that he's a good dad, leave it be. You'll probably meet her at some point regardless.

You're not unreasonable to ask and I understand why but your ex and his new gf aren't unreasonable to ignore the request either. Ideally all 3 adults can be friendly but more often that not, this can't happen and the best you can expect is not friends and not enemies either.