Staying together after affair - struggling

[MissWillaCather]

Just that really.

Does anyone have any positive stories?

I made a decision to stay after h's affair, it's coming up to a year since I found out about it, and I can't stop thinking about it and dwelling.

I really want to move on.

It's so hard.

Glad I saw your post, I wasn't going to bother posting.
But having seen your most recent post, thank God!
Whatever you once had/thought you had is ballsed. He's shat all over it. All the time you stay it remains a part of your life. Once you leave it becomes a part of your history.

It's been 4 years since my world was shattered. I'm still with dp.

We worked through the destruction he caused, he was utterly devastated by what he'd done. He was patient (and rightly so) and completely open. I told him that I didn't know if I could make it work, he wanted me to give him a chance to prove he was no longer the self centred bastard he had once been. He changed completely and never faltered with every step back we had (and we had quite a few).

I really didn't know if I could carry on with him but I gave it a chance and four years on I'm glad I did. We really are happy.

I NEVER thought in a million years I could ever forgive him but I have and we really are stronger than ever, hell, i'm stronger than ever.

Only you can decide about your future. Some relationships can and do work after betrayal, it's a very tough journey either way, staying or leaving, no decision is easy.

Be kind to yourself whichever decision you decide to make.

Wish I'd been brave enough to leave 8 years ago OP. Well done for reaching a decision which will give you peace of mind, and no-one can say you didn't try.
You are right. Once you've been betrayed, nothing is the same. Have a happy life.