If I leave dh what do you think happen?

[WildNightsWithAndyDay]

I'm desperately unhappy in my marriage. I have 2 dc's (4yo and 1yo).

We don't argue or shout we just make each other miserable. It's got to the point now where I really struggle to be alone with him the same room. He's been a bit of a shit but has never cheated or been abusive to me. The thought of spending the rest of my life with him is just really bleak.

I'm a sahm and live about 350 miles from my home town. If I left him would I be allowed to move back? Could I be told I have to stay within a reasonable distance of dh so he can visit? He works long hours so wouldn't be able to see dc's during the week but if he was to have them every weekend I'd hardly see my oldest dc as he's a school. I have no doubt dh would pay maintenance etc.

I don't really have any divorced friends so don't know how it would all work.

Any advice very gratefully received.

Do you live in the same country as your home town? I mean, in England or Scotland ? I ask because your husband can ask the courts to stop you moving to another country .

Why would you want to prevent them having a relationship with their dad?

Taking them that far means there won't be a meaningful relationship

Why should he just 'visit'?

He could file for a prohibited steps order.... j wouldn't blame him either

Have you spoken to him about how you're feeling? Is the feeling mutual, is it worth considering counselling - either on your own or as a couple?

DH and I separated 2 years ago, still get on well and still living in the same town. I don't know if you could legally be prevented from moving back to your home town but in reality would you want to, given you'd be committing your dcs to a very long journey to see their Dad, and then back to you. DH and I have a very loose 'every other weekend' arrangement but tbh the dcs go to his very rarely - but he has recently moved to a house (previously was in a one bed flat so cramped for the children to stay over) so that may change. He also pops in to do bedtime twice a week.

One thing I found invaluable prior to our split was a free half hour chat I had with a solicitor who advised me on the practicalities of separation - legal/financial/practical. You should be able to find a solicitor who offers this in your area via Google.

Yes, it's the same country.

I don't want to stop dc's having a relationship with their father. I just want to go home. If I moved back to home town it would take him 45 minutes more than his normal commute to get there.

I'm just wondering what the usual amount of access (sorry don't know if that's the right word) would be. He doesn't really have much of a meaningful relationship with dc's at the moment.I think he'd have a lot more of a meaningful relationship even if it was just one or two weekends a month

And all school holidays ( once old enough)

Will you relocate your job?

Have you had counselling?
Does he know how you feel?