Been a year today since.....

[lovetodance2016]

......I've had sex with my husband. Feel sad and just wanted to get it off my chest as can't in real life . Also not properly kissed him in this time other than a quick kiss on the lips and the odd cuddle. Feel desperately sad about this. Please note I've named changed for this post

So sorry to hear that. Have you tried to talk to him about it?

No, I don't even know where to start. Been married 5 years and I'm embarrassed to talk to him about it

I think you need to talk to your husband OP. This sounds really upsetting. Is it you not wanting to have sex or him? Or health issues

How can you abstain for so long, so early in your marriage and it not be discussed and considered a major issue? I really don't understand why it would be difficult to discuss such an extreme length of abstinence. Are there medical issues or have you always had little intimacy? I would be particularly concerned about the general lack of affection, it's a house share arrangement not a marriage.

How are things in general between you? Do you have difficulty communicating in other aspects?

Is this cultural or religious bcause in some communities it is an issue but no excuse not to talk about it.

Are there other issues impacting the marriage aside from the new little one- work stress for your spouse, etc? I had similar trouble and it was combo of pnd and family trouble outside my nuclear family

At the start of the year we had some issues with arguing and just drifted apart a bit but we've been getting on so much better. We're in separate bedrooms due to health issues his side and he's also suffering with stress. I just don't know where to start to resolve it. I want him to instigate but I don't think he will. Thank you all for replying

I want to be held and desired!

I think you need to talk, you can't live in an unhappy marriage forever, 5 years is not a long time you shouldn't be feeling like this. Will he talk? Is it just health issues his side? Or religious too!??

Have you considered marriage counselling?

Is he on any medication? If so, this could be effecting his libedo. Stress could also be a factor. Could you get him to see his GP?

I agree with PP that you need to talk.

No religion problems. Health mainly his side, he's stressed about work and home life as we hadn't been getting on. I just don't even know where to start, in my head I play out the conversation but the words just won't come out. I suggested counselling before he said no and typical man doesn't do GP's and certainly not for stress. Just at a loss. We've come to bed again tonight after a lovely day and we're in separate beds with just a brief kiss on the lips goodnight. It's making me anxious, lonely, sad and lost.

Have you tried to instigate things?

Yes and no. I've tried to give him a passionate kiss but he made a joke and said something like 'haha don't take advantage'. I was so deflated. I have also tried to make a few innuendos but nothing. I even mentioned mistletoe tonight and got no response. I have never felt so unattractive and it's the longest I've ever gone with out sex. I miss the touching and kissing. I often get into bed and just sob, as to what my marriage / life has become. I miss him

The longer it goes on the easier it is to ignore and harder to address. If you feel you can't speak to him face to face , write him a letter send an email send a WhatsApp even or even let him read this thread. You clearly love your husband that in itself shows strength in your relationship given the lack of physical contact.
Do you do things together such as days out meals shared hobbies etc?
I'd start there and work you're way up. Enjoy each others company and it may come naturally rather than going a full.blown pressure Ann summers planned night of sexiness.