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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

'D'M shoved DD (11m/o)

7 replies

user5739494 · 10/12/2016 14:28

I'm really angry at my mother right now. I'm staying at hers for the weekend to support her after my DB's death in October and as she's disabled (arthritis), she's been asking a lot from up and she's becoming a burden.

My two other brothers live at home, both have full time jobs that are clearly exhausting and DM is always demanding to go out when nobody has the time or the energy. She refuses to get a social worker or a cater which I think will help with her situation and that is why I'm furious. Not only that but after I told her that we are all tired and that she needs a carer, my DD was walking around, went up to dm, put her hand on her knee and dm m pushed her off.

I don't know what to do. I feel like I should keep DD from her.

OP posts:
user5739494 · 10/12/2016 14:30

If I had a car I would happily help dm and it would be so much easier for her but I don't.

OP posts:
AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 10/12/2016 14:32

I'm not excusing her knocking your DD in any way, but is her arthritis in her knees? It could have been a reflexive act - my DH has arthritic knees and even the lightest touch feels like someone stabbing him in the knee. Did she apologise?

Backingvocals · 10/12/2016 14:35

Did she just move your dds hand away or did she sort of shove her away with aggression? I can imagine being so upset that anyone's touch is too much.

ChicRock · 10/12/2016 14:41

She pushed her hand off her knee?

Well it's not great but I was honestly picturing her shoving her over or something.

Why are your adult brothers both still living at home? it sounds like your mum could do with a bit of space quite honestly, I'm not surprised she doesn't want to consider 2 more adults (SS and carer) invading her home.

MrsDustyBusty · 10/12/2016 14:55

Have you spoken to her about what happened?

user5739494 · 10/12/2016 15:03

She shoved her hand away aggressively. My brothers still live at home because they are both in London, which is expensive. DM would get lonely. She's very reliant emotionally on her children because she doesn't have a partner.

I asked her why she did it and she ignores me.

OP posts:
summerainbow · 10/12/2016 17:29

How much rent are your brother paying? Your mum could use that money for carer or cleaner
could they fund a cleaner and carers for yourent mum?
Your mum could chuck out your brothers and sell her house and go into a home.
You can contact social services to see if they help .

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