I'm new here so sorry if this sounds a bit amature.
This is probably going to turn out in a long post so thought I'd warn you first.
Me and Dh have been together 15 years and we have had a massive falling out.
We have 2 dd (dd1-10yo) (dd2-3mo) big gap... needed fertility treatment for dd2.
Basically dh likes a night out and don't know when to come home , when we were younger before kids he'd go missing for a few days , always sorry etc. He calmed down after birth of dd1 but now and again he would do it. Several years and arguments later he's basically a changed man, all for his family. lovely. Financially great. We tried for dd2 for 7 years before resorting to treatment which thankfully worked first time and have been blessed with dd2.
Just before he changed for the better , about 5 years ago , an old flame from school got in touch with me through fb. Compliementing me how well I looked and how am I etc. To be honest I felt quite flattered and had a brief conversation which stayed on facebook , he Then started to get a bit too flirty and asked for my number , to that point I stoped replying and left it at that. I know I shouldn't even engaged in a conversation but dh was playing up and I was feeling pretty low and it was a massive confidence boost. I had no intentions of doing anything. Anyway fast forward to 2 years ago and dh went down my phone while I was asleep and saw these messages (totally innocent) at this point they were like 3 years old as I never deleted them as I thought no more about it. He went absolutely crazy insisting that I must have carried on the conversation and met up with him away from facebook. I insisted I didn't do anything and we had a bad couple of weeks but he finally came round and we got back to a good place and started fertility treatment. Everything was lovely , dd was born in August and we've been on cloud 9. However since she's been born I dunno what's wrong with me but I have felt massively jealous of him and insercure, (this is totally out of character for me) there's no specific reason for this as I'm thinner than I've ever been , everyone keeps telling me I look lovely etc... but I can't control this sudden jealousy.
I don't like it when he goes out and have basically ruined his nights out every time . 2 weeks ago he goes out I wasn't happy but decided to act normal and wish him a good night. He didn't come home until midday the next day. I was livid , again arguments were terrible . As you can imagine this did not help with my insecurities.
He promised never to do it again blah blah.
Last night he rings me to tell me his having a few drinks straight from work I say ok . I call him about 9pm to see where he is and he says small pub near where we live. I find out he's in a fancy nightclub towie style , he'd actually sneaked home to dress up while I was at my mums. He doesn't get why I get so angry , Insists that he's doing nothing wrong 'but why lie'
Any I 'ruined' his night 'again' and he walks in at 12 last night sooooo drunk.
He then brings up the past about those messages with the old flame on facebook and how I am a dirty whoe , slg and every other terrible name under the sun. He thinks that I was shagging this man and was saying some terrible disgusting things to me how I don't deserve to be a mum and a lot worse. I haven't slept all night . Thankfully baby didn't wake up during this and dd1 was at her friends for a sleepover. Today we are sat indifferent rooms haven't spoke and I just don't know what to do......
so sorry for the long post.