I name-changed a few weeks back ....
I am having a 'family conference' with exH soon to discuss the children, and I am anxious and concerned about how it will go.
I was a SAHM since my eldest was born in 2006. Four kids. I asked H to leave when I found out about his affair in 2014.
At that time, we arranged access 3/14 days, being every second Fri-Mon.
Since early this year, I got a job, and an au pair.
Access is now 4/14, every second Fri-Tues. As H has long holidays (think university terms) he also has approx 5x7 days additional exclusive access.
He wants more. As my children are all 10 and under (youngest is 3), I don't feel that increased overnights are appropriate. I admit that this is tied up with the fact that I feel I have relinquished a huge amount of time with my children due to his selfishness and stupidity.
The job I have enables me to do school drop-offs every morning, and be home by 3.30/4 most days. His doesn't (self-employed).
By choice, I spend my kid nights with the kids. By choice, he would still go out 2/4 of his contact nights.
I have no idea how to communicate in a reasonable way that I have lost enough, and don't want to give more. And that I genuinely feel the kids would have a better outcome from the stability and time I provide. Plus I reared them pretty much single-handedly in the early, demanding years and feel I know them better and they need me more.
I don't know what to do.