ignoring

[herwegoagain123]

was v excited by new purchase of new over the knee boots. Tried them on for dh and he was a mixture of terrified and irritated as he was watching tv.
Afterwards felt a bit low as I don't get much attention so said I was fed up.
Instead of being nice he then went into a defensive tirade that he had done nothing wrong and began bringing other stuff up. As I genuinely was upset I asked him why he couldn't be nice. He said he couldn't be and didn't understand and I had manufactured a situation to be angry with him. I didn't I was genuine.
He then stormed off to bed all offended. Every time I mention how I feel about anything I get the blame and verbal gymnastics. He acts like I have attacked him. Hence it is a rare occurance for me to say anything. My head is spinning.

Why was he terrified of your new boots?

I have no advice but came on to say I totally get the frustration when each time you air a grievance it gets immediately skipped over and turned back on you! I couldn't say I was unhappy about anything without getting attacked within 2 mins! I walked away in the end, I felt that my thoughts and feelings were not considered important or respected. Always just skipped over to the part where I was a bad person at some point years ago. It's exhausting and demeaning and devaluing. Ugh.

So you walk around on eggshells all the time?
Not a good way to live.
Do you have kids?
Own your house?

Well he said he feels I'm attacking him if I say I'm fed up. He did this on holiday when I was upset. Ignored me and said why are you attacking me when I hadn't even said anything.
Also sent me a text message saying he doesn't understand the significance of trying on boots. Bollocks. He was a porn addict.
Me trying on boots he means.
Going away this weekend so will wear them!!

Fuck the fucker.

Sliding into desexualising me again that's what he's up to. Rant rant.
Let him.

Also he is now addicted to food so you get the picture.

I don't get the picture at all.

Ok I'm a bit confused too, so you bought the boots thinking they were sexy and tried them on as he was watching the telly, and he didn't react as you hoped, so you had a go at him as you didn't get the attention you wanted and he reacted defensively? He saw you as angry, you say you were just fed up and feeling low?

So now you're saying he's fat and he did it to desexualise you? Sorry if that is not correct, just trying to understand.

Were you naked when you tried on the boots in front of him? Perhaps you were too subtle.

You remind me of another poster I won't mention

I don't get what the problem is? Just enjoy your new boots

I'm sorry if I have completely misinterpreted this, i'm just trying to understand. Was he terrified / irritated because he sensed you were looking for a certain reaction when you tried the boots on, and he was worried it wouldn't be the right one? He sounds very defensive, do you walk on eggshells around each other maybe?