Fedup.com, what do mums get the shit deal??

[Proseccoisthenewlambrini]

Hi
I have posted before under a different name as I forgot my password and had to create a new account my previous name was tryingmybestforthem
I'm feeling really pissed off right now, why is it so hard for us primary carers (usually mums) yet the dads get to start new and exciting lives.
I'm feeling really down and resentful.
I've had enough of being solely responsible for 4 kids, doing an emotionally challenging job and keeping up with the endless housework.

I know how you feel :( And then they kid themselves that they're good dads because they've spent a couple of hours with them.

There are times I feel resentful. But mostly I feel incredulous that this shallow being was (is) my husband.

I am also exceptionally grateful that I have my kids-don't know what id do without them and its that feeling that makes me realise that this love is far more important that the one I ever had with my husband.

Yes I agree with you, it's just so hard to "keep yourself in check " I suppose. I really want to scream at him and ban him from seeing kids at xmas as he hasn't earned it but I know that's unreasonable and not in their best interests. What's your situation Julia?

I hear you!
Not only are we (in majority of cases) the ones who stick around and do the hard work that comes with it, and bear the massive responsibility that comes with it, but we also have to take on board the stigma of 'single parent families' etc and generally get zero praise or recognition for it.
4 kids! have a from me

Hey Prosecco and Mrs digestive

Forgot to mention in my earlier post- hats off to you for dealing with 4 kids- find 2 hard going even when my husband was around :)

My situation- Just had an awful 2 years where bit by bit I found out that my soul mate who Ive been with since age 19, wasn't who I thought he was but literally someone who screwed me over in every imaginable way. I spent last 2 years trying to work through things whilst clearly he carried on. Early October I said I wasn't willing to put up with this anymore- so he walked.

I now have a ridiculously stressful job, 2 teenage girls - one of which went into complete teenage rebellion mode as soon as he left, a whacking great big mortgage, and two crazy dogs.!

He visits them twice a week- without much prior notice or regularity. When I asked for a more routine approach to things after Christmas- he got upset and now refuses to look after the dogs over Christmas (as promised) while the girls and I go to my family.

When we were together there were amazing dad things he did that outweighed all the rubbish dad things he did. What he brings to the table now is just pitiful

oh yes.

two children with additional needs. To be fair I had the second knowing he was not great at being a dad.

but the never ending responsibility for them and all the crap of housework and washing and uniforms and homework and packed lunches and autistic meltdowns. and organising the physio and appointments and battling withthe school to get their needs met.

he is usful when it comes to babysitting my mum though when we go there. contact there is better than contact here (banned him as he was intimidating) contact at his house works. as I do not care if his stuff gets wrecked becasue heleaves it out... still have to supervise contact though, used to go on the computer but ds has taken to running away.

oh and the stigma. do all the bloody work, raise them, and get the stigma for being a single parent family. thanks for that.

and for you all.
It's bloody shit. Mine was basically a man child, he did have his uses and I do still love him (stupidly) but after posting on here the penny dropped and I realised he was abusive, still difficult to accept that but I do keep getting lovely little reminders from him!
He now is using all our savings (in his name) to buy himself a flat and expects me to sign a solicitors letter saying I have no claim on it. He also picks and chooses when he sees kids, I'm trying to come to terms with it all really as the grass isn't greener ......yet.

Hey Prosseco

Hope your weekend has been ok.

Go see a lawyer asap- and don't sign anything!