should i just give up?

[Karley123]

i've been with this guy like 2 months now and he straight up says he's a commitmentphobe..he seems to break up with people around 6 months coz he doesnt want to get too serious. but he isnt speaking with anyone else or seeing anyone else.

ive been straight and said i wont wait around forever for him to commit, but i was happy not being official for a few more months. he wont call me his gf and has only said he likes me once..he gets really weird and says its commitment then he randomly changed his fb to in a relationship with me and texted saying he was fine with people knowing. obviously i was really happy, until i got home and realised he'd only made it so i could see it and had pretty much tricked me into thinking hed gone public with it.

i know it doesnt sound like much, but i just dont wanna wait 6 months just to get dumped coz hes scared. ive got no plans to rush into anything, which is why i was happy to wait a few months before bringing up the commitment thing. but now im just annoyed coz i feel like hes playing mind games. like the other day he said he was gonna be a dick to try and make me go off him, when i said i could guarantee id heard worse from guys he took that as a challenge and spent the whole night trying to insult me. i get he was joking, but i genuinely left feeling like i didnt wanna see him again after that. and then the next day was when he said he was ready to commit. im literally so confused..i just dont wanna leave if im over reacting coz of past experiences haha

Sigh

Beat me to it AF

Seriously Op Read what you've written , does he sound normal , nice , caring ? No ! He sounds like a knob !

Good grief.

Is he, like, 10 years old?

You are a mug if you don't dump him.

i literally feel like im stuck in some high school drama even having to post this haha! like i honeslty dont care about being fb official, but the fact he told me he'd done that to go public and then i realise he hasnt even made it public just annoys me!

i just wanna know where i stand with him so i dont waste my time. i dont wanna be with someone just for the sake of it..and this whole situation feels like teen drama. but if i bring it up he acts like im proposing or something!

What AF said "sigh"
Please tell me you are 15
Facefuck has a lot to answer for
If you don't engage with his games he can't play them

Leave him.

The end.

You don't 'stand' anywhere with him Op . You've been with him 2 months . He's a commitment phobe . He's playing mind games . He's insulting you . He actually told you he's a dick .

How many more hints do you need ????

YOU SHOULD BE HAVING FUN!

At a couple of months in you should be thinking each other are the best thing since sliced bread not having doubts because he is being an A class prick.

You do know where you stand with him, he messes you about and makes you feel unsure of you self and the situation. None of that is fun, kind or caring. Far from it.

Stop looking to him for answers, he hasn't got them.

Stop giving it one more chance, you are wasting your time.

Your gut feeling about not wanting to spend any more time with him? Well that's the truth, LISTEN to your inner self FFS, you know what to do.

FFS.

What are you even doing thinking about this?

There is no dilemma here. He is a total knob and has told you he is.

What are you doing with him? You say you don't want to waste your time, but here you are wasting your time.

FGS get rid of this loser.

And er, get yourself a hobby. You seem to think that there's some kind of necessity to be with a man, even when he's a really shit one, like the one you're (not really) with at the moment. There isn't you know. You can be single and happy and not have to put up with some total knob playing mind games and doing your head in. There are books to read, TV and film to watch, friends to have a laugh with, gardens to tend, homes and crafts to create... stop building your life around being with a man, because if you don't, the next one will possibly be a nob too.

AskBasil..that was kinda harsh?! ive been single over a year and in that time got myself a new job, signed up for 2 evening classes, moved halfway across the country and started looking for distance learning degrees..im perfectly capable of being single and happy!

Aw babes you should totes hang on in there, you'll deffo be the one that changes him.

Sheldon 😂👏

What does he bring to you that makes you happy and feel joy ?

Ffs girl

Gather together any shreds of dignity you still have and block his number.

You want to know where you stand? I think you know that. The question is do you want to keep standing there or might it be batter to walk away or run as fast as you can ?

The answer to your question is a resounding YES. You should give up and move on.

How old are you both?

Totally agree with AskBasil

Sheldon

OP he's been very open and honest in saying he's a fuckwit and behaving like one to prove.

WTF don't you believe him and see him as worth wasting yourself on? You must be all kinds of fucked up so please, get some help so you know low your standards are

i never said i dont think hes behaving wrong...if i thought this was ok then i wouldnt be questioning it. i just dont think theres any need to be assuming im not capable of being by myself or telling me i need to get help.

i understand youre just trying to say what everyone else on this thread has been saying, but no one else has felt the need to be insulting about it.

Newbrummie: up until now ive actually been really happy, but now he's seeing there might be commitment in the future he's acting differently

SandyY2K: 23 and 27

Yes, you should. He's an idiot.

He's told you where you stand.

Nowhere.

What are you going to do about it?

Sorry if I sounded insulting, I didn't mean to be.

But this bloke is so obviously a twat, that the only reason any woman could even entertain the idea of staying with him after 2 months, is because she centres being with a man in her life.

If being with a man were not so important to you, you wouldn't even have to ask yourself (or mumsnet) this question. You'd just bin him because you know there's no reason to be with him.

The question you should ask yourself when you take up with new men is "why should I bother to have this relationship?" If the answer is because overwhelmingly this bloke makes you feel really happy and good and you enjoy your time spent with him, then great - you've got a good reason to positively pursue a relationship with him. If the answer is anything less than that, then it's a no-brainer: there's simply no point whatsoever, in having anything to do with him.

After only 2 months, you should be at the honeymoon bliss stage. If you're not, you are never going to get a honeymoon bliss stage in this relationship. You are never going to get love in this relationship. That is a rule which doesn't just apply to this one, it applies to any relationship you ever enter.

I'm not one to be blunt on here but please shake your head into some sense! I'm sorry to be rude but you've done lots of great things with your life single only to pick this waste of air to be the one that you chose not to be single for anymore? You clearly have so much going for you. Dump him and find someone who won't give you so much run around. Or is that what you want? Do you want drama and headache? As this is all that this guy is going to bring for you. Please see your worth and find a guy who isn't going to mess you about.

Karley

I know you're still young at 23, but don't waste time with this guy. He's very sneaky and childish messing about with the FB settings, so I suggest you take it into your hands and end it on a good note with him.