Autism in the relationship?

[aintnoregular]

Hi all,

My partner informed me tonight that she thinks I may be autistic. She said that while speaking with her colleague at work (a specialist in autism) she thought she was describing me and made her explore the possibility that I may be autistic myself.

I have always been horrendously sensitive to sound so much so I have I too escape when there is a sound I cannot manage. I cannot wear certain clothes as I feel they do not sit right on my body and I have to immediately get them off of me. i can't seem to manage my emotions, sometimes I feel really low and withdrawn like I'm in a bubble and I don't want anyone to enter. And sometimes I feel really excitable and overtly tactile but not in a positive way, I feel very distressed. I work a lot off of numbers such as the number 4 being my lucky number so I do things 4 times, or I will sit in the 4th seat. There are lots of other different quirks that I have but I'm just not sure what they mean.

For a while now I've been looking for an answer to why I am the way I am. The only reason I would be interested in a 'label' as such is in hope that I may have a better chance of receiving the right treatment for me. I have to be slightly careful with diagnosis also as I am trying to get in the police and mental health is a big grey area in the recruitment.

If someone could shed some light I would really appreciate that.

Your GP would be the best first step, posters on a forum cannot diagnose you.

Agree with above.

I have just been reading a book by Eva Mendes called Marriage and Long Term Relationships with Aspergers. She calls the "autism spectrum disorder" "autism spectrum difference", in particular for those who are high functioning. I much prefer that way of putting it.

You can read a lot about it and try lots of things, do online tests etc, but without a diagnosis you can't be certain you've got the right thing.

And if you want to know but don't want it on your records (not suggesting you lie to the police btw!) going private is expensive but would avoid that.

I am not in the UK but have two children with autism. Agree with the other posters - you might need a referral from your GP to get a professional diagnosis. Whether you disclose your condition to your employer is your choice. Autism is a condition, not a mental health issue. Of course it can be very debilitating if severe, but as another poster said, it is a 'difference' and should be accepted as such. Many workplaces know that diversity and inclusiveness is a human rights issue, and if you can do a job, you should not be discriminated against.
There are also some people who do not meet the criteria for autism spectrum disorder but have sensory processing disorder. That's possible as well.

OP Autism or ASD (spectrum disorder) is not a mental illness. You may well be on the spectrum , some argue we all are, just some to a lesser degree than others.
Ask your GP for an ADOS assessment, if you are indeed Autisitic it will go a long way to understanding yourself better and for your wife to better understand how you 'tick' . Its not a disease so doesnt need treatment per se, perhaps a specialist practioner /nurse/ psychologist in autism can provide some counseling or CBT to help you mange the difficult aspects of communication or times of depression and low mood.
How was your childhood growing up, were you slower to walk, walk on tip toes, slower to talk, quiet with intemittent 'melt downs'...?