Is there light after such abuse?

[SeekingTheLight]

That's it really. I'm not a regular contributor but I lurk, and have found strength from wonderful people who have escaped this dark dark place.

My own situation is long and foggy.

Last night I saw my eleven year old cry in a way I've never seen before. She witnessed violence towards me and was mocked for crying. The abuse has been emotional and mental until now.

I took legal action today. I know MN enough to know I mustn't drip feed. But I can't begin to tell this story. I'm afraid but I'm also determined that this isn't the story of my life. That this man doesn't define me anymore.

I guess I am reaching out for light. It's what I seek. Can we recover? Can we make life good again?

Yes indeed you can. Gird up your loins, get the right advice and take it! Your DD deserves better, and so do you. Many many women have risen above this to lead new and happy lives. Just go for it.

Thank you Blossom.

I've been in a state of frozen inertia for so long. Not wanting to upset him further, despite so much anguish from his cheating and gaslighting (I've recently learnt that is what he does to me)

I'm ashamed of my lack of action. I feel ashamed full stop.

He bombards me with emails about how useless I am. And how inadequate I am compared to 'his level'. I wasn't this person. But I became this way.

Im sorry you have been going thtriugh this and that you and your dd had this happen last night. I didn't have a dd at the time but I have been in an abusive relationship, several years later everything is different. It doesn't feel like it to start with but there is light, it can and does get better. Well done on getting out, don't worry about telling anyone details. Maybe consider asking her school if they have someone your xD could talk to about how she is feeling e this goes on? Also don't be afraid to ask for support, leaving is hard, you've made the biggest step.
to you both

Yes. Lots of light.

You did something amazing today. Strap yourself in for a bumpy ride. Don't lose your vision of how you want life to be. And life will get good. Just don't give up!

I'm**
Going through**
Someone you're dd could talk to while this goes on**

Sorry I clearly can't type

You are not the person he describes. You are a fighter, a nurturer, you are an amazing person to stand up and be counted. Go forth and conquer.

You have no reason to be ashamed. You are waking out of a long bad dream, and now things are starting to come into focus, you must take as many baby steps as it takes to get to a better life for your DC.