I fancy my married colleague..I m not single either. Help!?

[moiraanon]

In short I returned to work a few months ago after taking a year off on maternity leave. When I started back a new colleague had joined our very small team...we got on well and I thought nothing more than that, till a few weeks ago when I realised it had developed into something more for me.

We laugh and chat all day and have lots of personal jokes. And outside work we are in contact constantly through text messages. I m not sure how he feels about me (definitely he likes me as friend, and sometimes I m positive it s something more, but then I doubt myself). I also find myself frequently having sexual fantasies about him.

As for my current relationship, we d been together for 10 months when I accidentally fell pregnant. Prior to the pregnancy we were arguing a lot, and I think we would have split up had baby not appeared. However, baby actually seemed to improve things between us. The problem is although I am very fond of my partner, I don t think I m in love with him, and my sexual desire towards him is almost non-existent.

Am I heading for trouble? Or is this just a common blip people experience, and something I could get over if I made more effort in my current relationship?

Sorry for the long explanation

Yes, nobody judges on an internet advice forum........

*Lots of people fancy others outside of a relationship.

You don't just fancy him. You laugh and joke all day long with personal jokes and then are in constant contact with texts outside of work.

It is the start if not already of an emotional affair.

That is a problem.*

This!! You are having an emotional affair. I feel terrible for your DP, you clearly have no respect for him at all.

If this is a 'friendship' then his wife and your partner know about it right? And you'd be ok with them seeing what you write in the texts?

I thought not.

Have you considered the damage to your professional reputation when this comes out at work? The fallout is not pretty and is likely to lead to one you having to leave your place of work due to the shame you will feel and/or the insistence of your respective partners (who will be utterly distraught and humiliated)