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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can't work out what she wants!

4 replies

user1480970148 · 05/12/2016 20:41

I am really confused about my friends behaviour. As background it might be worth mentioning a year ago we did meet up as more than friends, but she called it off and said she was not ready for a relationship and did not think she ever wanted one again.

A lot of people keep asking us if we are a couple, and she insistently tells them we are not (as do I). What is confusing me is when we are alone for example she can be quite cuddly. We recently went away for the weekend together and had a twin room to save money, but she got into my bed (and was leaning very close into me, so close her breasts were touching my arm!) when I was looking through the guide book the hotel gave us. Now when I thought about this I realised this is odd, and none of my other female friends would even consider doing that and instead would ask me to pass the book to them in their bed to look! (though since all my other female friends are attached, we wouldn't be away together anyway). It was also uncomfortable because I was getting ahem excited, and felt embarassed because we are supposed to be just friends.

So why is she behaving like this and at the same time insisting we are just friends? I am reluctant to make any move on her, because we did agree we were just friends and am worried she might freak out and think I only stayed friends for one reason (I didn't - I thought we got on well, so why not have her as a friend and try and meet someone else for a romantic relationship) if this is all innocent - which it might be. But on the other hand we get on very well, and I am still atracted to her, so would go for it if she wanted to. I'm just really confused about the disparity between what she says and her behaviour. In any other situation the behaviour in the bed would have been an obvious come on to me.

OP posts:
mrsdigestives · 05/12/2016 20:46

What used to be known back in the day as a prick tease

Do yourself a favour and find a woman who does want a proper relationship with you, there are plenty out there. (Incidentally, what's the betting that when you do, this woman will suddenly want one too)

comoneileen · 05/12/2016 20:47

Have a chat with her. Acknowledge that she has crossed the boundaries of friendship and check if anything has changed. If not it is called teasing.

DeleteOrDecay · 05/12/2016 22:52

I think you both need to have a chat about what you both want from this friendship, where it is going, and what the boundaries are as it seems like it's not really clear at the moment and it's confusing for both of you.

TheNaze73 · 06/12/2016 08:16

She sounds like one of those batshit types, that doesn't want you but, doesn't want anyone else to have you.
Politely, tell her to fuck off & move on. She's no good for you

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