Do you consider DP's friends to be your friends?

[Sparkletastic]

This is one of my fave arguments with my DH... I have lots of gal pals but he mainly socialises with couples - and wants me with him! Not in a swinging way you understand . Since we have 2 kids I say social time is too precious (and willing babysitters in too short supply) to do everything together so mainly want to see my chums and him see his without me on different nights IYSWIM. He gets v hurt and rejected by this which is not my intention at all. I constantly come back to the 'if we got divorced they would never want to see me again' line but this probably doesn't help much, what with the implied threat that our love may not be everlasting . I do see his friends occasionally at grown-up dinner party weekend type dos, but more often than not I pack him off to stay with them on his own. Am I a right miserable beeyatch or can you relate?!

dp best mate is my ex boyfriend - he actually set us up, another of his mates is married to one of my close friends and another of my friends lives with one of his friends. but i am the wild party animal one in the relationship and he prefers to stay in or just go for dinner with friends he hates clubs so he has no problem staying at home while i party into the small hours.

exh and i also shared a lot of friends we met at uni and were part of the same crowd. after we split i even stayed friendly with some of the lads he was friends with and still see them socially now

Ooh I wouldn't want DH to have a female friend or be emailing my female mates so I wouldn't want to get that close to one of his either. It's not an issue because he's not interested in what my mates want to talk about (our partners usually LOL) and I've got no interest in what he and his mates get up to. For us, I'm the only women he wants to hang out with and vice versa.

Why wouldn't you want your DP to have female friends?

Back to the OP, no I can't relate at all I'm afraid, but I think we just live completely different lives rather than either of us being right or wrong. We've been together so long that the bulk of our friends are mutual, and although we do go out separately (not that often as I work 3/7 nights) I'd actually rather grab the chance to go out with DH than do the girly solo thing on a more regular basis.

Bugger, I'm old and boring aren't I?

Anyway, I agree with some of the other posters - I think it would be nice for both of you to make an effort with each others friends, and socialise as a couple as well as singles.

Ah I was full of good intentions after reading some of these posts... Was supposed to be seeing to gal pals tonight (just a night in as one is heavily preggers) but we've had to cancel as hostess poorly. Suggested to DH that we might take kids to stay at one of his couple mates' gaff as we have a long-standing invite (they come here lots for dinner and B&B). BUT - when they heard we'd be bringing both DDs they blew us out!! Raincheck on making more of an effort now then .

I don't particularly like the three friends my DH has known since his schooldays but I don't say much about it. I just find them very boring and although I've tried I just feel like an outsider even now in their group. Not that I really want to be a part of their group anyway because these people are hard work. They drink copious amounts, are inverterate snobs, not interested in us and are very predicatable in their habits. I just see the three of them as the consummate middle aged bores.

I've decided not to go along to the next lunch they've got planned cos I'm fed up with them.

On the other hand another couple (again friends of DH's) we meet up with occasionally are very much down to earth and amusing to boot. Just as importantly they listen and are interested in what you have to say and vice versa. I much prefer their company.

Oh well, you scored the points anyway LOL.

Serenity, I wouldn't want dh to have a female friend for the reasons I said - it would be just so unlike him that I would have to worry! He does carshare with a female colleague so they are relatively close by default but not in a "X would love that, I must text her" kind of way.