Hello folks, I'd appreciate opinions on this. I'm seeing someone new for the last few weeks, we've been in bed together 4 times so far. The issue is his lack of confidence. We're both 37 btw, he's divorced with kids, I've no kids. Anyway, when it comes to the bedroom he is so shy and lacking in confidence. He NEVER takes the lead in ANY aspect of it (apart from the first initiation of foreplay, kissing on the couch which he usually starts, but if I never took the lead we'd stay kissing on the couch all night and never get any further). He's also really quiet, like he doesn't say a word or groan. Now I'm not looking for dirty talk or screams of ecstasy but he's exceptionally quiet. If I say something like "that's nice" or "I love that" or "you're really good at that" etc he will reply "yeah" or "so are you" but it sounds forced and not something he'd say spontaneously. I remember the first time we had sex he said something like "I'm not good at this" and I think that's the issue, he has no confidence in himself. I asked him last night what his favourite position was and he said he didn't know (??!!) then he asked me what mine was. We've only done it in missionary position up to now, so I said that I loved that (which I do) but that I also loved doggy style. He then said that he loved missionary too and followed it up by saying that he'd never done it in any other position. 37, married for 6 years, and only ever had sex in one position? I know also that he's a big guy, 6 ft 4 and broad, with some weight on, and he's afraid of hurting me/being too heavy.
I'm struggling to know how to build his confidence. I absolutely don't want him feeling that he's crap in bed, or that he's inadequate or not enough for me. I don't want to have a big conversation about it cos I think he'll just retreat into himself and end up feeling worse. What stealthy ways could I boost his confidence?
Please don't give me a lecture about how if im comfortable enough to have sex with him, I should be comfortable enough to discuss it with him. Im comfortable discussing it, it's just his confidence I'm concerned about.