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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Need Help With Emotionally Unstable Girl Friend?

12 replies

user1480908206 · 05/12/2016 03:42

Hello i'm AXL 22 years old,started dating a 19 yo gurl for about 2 months.

There was this random person bothering her at the Road i helped her we quickly escalated got her number Facebook etc and started talking.

It was basically a 10/10 gurl shared my music interests everything,she was really Sexual at first then tomorrow she would tell me I'm not a bitch i don't want you to think that i am,i told her i accept you the way you are.

We went out head sex everything was going just fine,she told me i can't really live without you i need you your so sweet stuff like that.

She was suffering from low self esteem and Depression and has signs of Bipolar,studies Psychology it's her first year at uni.

So here is where things start to go downhill,she started going cold on me we always talked things over and i was really straight with her asked her what was wrong did i do something wrong,she goes like i just don't really feel like talking with people much lately it's not you.

At first i was looking at the Positive aspects didn't really make it a big of a deal she would be same sweet show the same Emotional Validation just keep the convo's shorter.

As time went out she started decreasing them and i asked her a few times all i got was It's not true that i don't wanna talk to you,i been talking a lot to people lately it's not just you know.

Then she started pulling back emotionally,she also pmed my mom she knows her we were really serious with this gurl telling her i LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

Anyways after this she removed all the Emotional Validation and would keep the convo's max 1-2 texts daily and it really got me pissed so i decided to have a serious Conversation with her.

I pmed her asking her if she feels the same things she feelt before i keept pressuring she goes like''It's not true that i don't wanna talk to you''I told her to answer the question that is being asked she goes like''I don't know can't we just change the Topic??

Then i keept asking if i did something wrong she goes like no i don't know what to say i don't have anything to say.

She also keept telling me guys stare at her etc.

So basically i see here lack of interest i tried to bring old Memories she does not care,she tells me all the right words and acts the opposite way leaves me hanging without an answer,never initiates the convo first does not care it's like i'm talking to this total stranger that Scares me does not respect me talks with sarcasm and i keep asking myself what i did wrong i can't really find anything.

It's really strange how can people change this fast and not care.

She has all the signs of Bipolar doe i'm not really sure:Very sexual kisses girls acts like a Bisexual talks with a lot of people,addictive to drinks,would do drugs no problem if offered very suicidal suffered from Depression,gets turned on fast and turned off.

I just can't really believe what i'm going through right now the last message of me was like''Until you start being yourself and want to have something with me or go out peace up''

I went on NO CONTACT for my own Sanity she put me through hell it's been a month nothing from her,shes enjoying everything on her Facebook posting pictures i didn't like any of her pictures or stuff went full NC.

She would also overthink every little stuff being afraid that i might cheat on her and cry on the phone,i would chill her down tell her that i really love you the most on the world,And in the last convo she told me i should not be overthinking stuff it's not good for you!Imagine she tried to make me look Crazy,she is nice to every second person on facebook just sees me as her personal enemy and the guy that hurt her or the boring guy,i'm really hopeless

Here is when things gets Really Strange she knows i'm really close with my mom i didn't react anything to her posts or something,yesternight she Blocked my mom on Facebook and didn't block me,i think she is trying to get a Reaction from me i'm not really sure.

So the question is should i initiate Contact with her after 30 days and try to talk things out??Or maybe wait for some more i'm not really sure if she is ever going to pm me i'm really lost??

Sorry for keeping it so long,i'm just so much in pain it's my first post i don't know where to get help.

OP posts:
LellyMcKelly · 05/12/2016 04:08

Oh heavens no. Run away as fast as you can. That's well over. Block her and move on. Life is way too short.

Aedh · 05/12/2016 09:11

Keep no contact. Block her from Facebook and move on. Move on quickly. Like LelliMcKelly advises: run.

ElspethFlashman · 05/12/2016 09:16

You're asking if you should restart something with a total cow?

Why would anyone do that??!

Mountainhighchair · 05/12/2016 09:19

Wtf

TrippyMcTrapFace · 05/12/2016 09:34

OP appears to have brought his PUA terminology over into the wrong online community. Hmm

Tenshidarkangel · 05/12/2016 09:38

The whole point of no contact is you shut down on everything.

If you've kept her on Facebook you haven't completed the no contact rules. The whole point of it is to emotionally separate yourself to give yourself the chance to look at it with a new perspective. Keeping her on facebook just fuels jealousy and upset.

In my opinion, she's just not that into you. Sorry. Leave her be and find someone who won't ghost you.

BraveDancing · 05/12/2016 10:09

You know bisexuality is not a sign of bipolar, right?

user1480908206 · 05/12/2016 13:28

Yes of course i do,But she has other Bipolar Signs.
A bunch of Them!!
Uncontroleable Sexual Urges,and the others that i mentioned.

OP posts:
user1480908206 · 05/12/2016 13:31

Well my Mind is Clouded by my Heart atm,i keep remembering the Old her the best thing that happened to my life,Being so nice so good having so much fun.
She changed totally to a new Person 180 degree and a person that if i meet her on the Road i would not even want to have sth with her in her Current State.
But i keep always remembering the old her and it's really Haunting me Down from deep inside.
She does not care she probably forgot everything.

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 05/12/2016 13:41

The old her?

Wait, haven't you only known her 2 months??

Exactly how long did this nostalgic version of her last? A couple of weeks? Three?

Mountainhighchair · 05/12/2016 13:59

Why are you capitalising random words?

Kr1stina · 05/12/2016 14:07

You don't know her very well

You are over involved and over committed way too soon

Walk away from this girl. She has changed her mid, which she's allowed to do .

Next girl you meet take time to get to know her . And don't use at that PUA stuff, it's BS and will make smart girls walk away from you .

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