Help! I need to stop obsessing over a crush

[angieneri]

Hi all, NCed for this as I am a little ashames of myself. I am a fairly regular poster here.

So I am completely obsessed and infatuated with a man I barely know.

He is a work colleague and we have been chatting for a couple of months on whatsapp and we once kissed after a work event. He keeps messaging me regularly but he has not asked me out so far and I don't think he is as into me as I am into him.

I can't seem to be able to stop obsessing over him, what he does, whether he is online on fb/wa and so on. I literally stalk his social media profiles looking for clues about women he may be seeing/ dating.

I feel pathetic, like a stupid teenager that falls head over heels for a popstar. I want to stop feeling this way. I need to regain control over my head and emotions. I hate this state of mind

Does anyone have any advice on how to stop obsessing over someone you barely know?

Thanks!

Are you both single?

handy yes we are both single but as I said, I think he is interested in me in a very casual way.

Otherwise he would have asked me out properly already, as opposed to inviting me to all these work events alongside 20 colleagues.

He invited me to 2 of these events, the first time we stayed out alone afterwards and kissed. The second time we almost ignored each other for the whole night

For some reason he seems to really like messaging me but he never makes a real move forward so I don't think he has a serious interest in me.

You don't know until you ask, why don't you ask him out?

Maverick last week after he invited me to the second work event I told him that I thought we should go have a drink sometime, without the rest of the office. His answer was: Yeah I think the same.

But then he never followed up

So grab it by the metaphorical balls.

"So how's about that drink? This weekend or next any good?"
He says no then you have your answer and you can move on completely

Maybe he is nervous. Why are you waiting for him to follow up when you asked the question?

Name the place and date. Job done.

Why does he have to ask? Why don't you? At least you'll know one way or the other then!

He sounds a bit shy to me. Who knows, maybe he's got a crush on you but just cant summon the nerve to act? Ask him - you only live once....

easy for me to say. I probably wouldn't have the courage. But go on,,

Well after I suggested it I thought he would propose a time if he was keen..

We are not in 1954. Just bloody ask him out!

Of course this is not 1954 but I feel
especially cautious as he is someone I work with (albeit not directly, different departments) so I am afraid of exposing myself too much.

I would also be a bit disappointed that he hadnt asked...

The only way to end this crush is to take the bull by the horns and bring him into the spotlight. You're both single, what have you to lose?

Fwiw when I've been asked out its always taken me by surprise. In your scenario I don't waste any time. Lifes too short.

I always end up asking guys out, or making the first move, apparently I'm a bit intimidating ask him x