Not sure what to think?

[TangledUpInGin]

I've been seeing someone for a couple of months now. We were friends for over a year before anything happened, he'd liked me since meeting me. It's all going really well, speak most days, go out, stay in etc. Normal couple things. We had a chat about where it was going and he said he didn't want to go down the route of boyfriend/girlfriend as he didn't want me to get hurt as he fucks up relationships. I was a bit taken aback by this. He said he really cared about me and didn't want to mess things up with me. He said he wanted to protect me from himself? I'm really confused as the signs are that he wants to be with me, but not sure where to go with this statement??

Tell him to fuck off.

I think that whatever it is he means (and we'll get to that in a sec) it's a very unsatisfactory and worrying response to the 'where is this going?' subject.
If he'd said something along the lines of 'I don't know, let's just see what happens' that would be fine. However, he has expressed a desire not to think of you as his girlfriend, so whatever it's all about I'd be bailing now, two months in.

As to what he means, I can only assume he means as he says...he's a shit boyfriend and you deserve better.
Don't make the mistake of thinking your love will be the force to turn it all around for him. It won't and you'll find out the hard way. Imo.

Sorry. x

Don't bother. Who does he thinks he is? A prize?

Yep - in short, it's not good enough. Why bother?

Hmmm, I think there is only one option isn't there. I'm certainly not carrying on half arsed. Better to get out now than waste six months pissing about.

It's so when he hurts you and treats you like shit he can say he warned you...

Yes...good point Awesome.

Yep, I think you're right awesome. It's almost as if he thinks it will absolve him of any responsibility for shit behaviour.

My ex told me he never wanted marriage and kids as he's had a shit childhood and his parents a terrible divorce. I should have listened. We did get engaged but it was to shut me up. I didn't even leave him for that but I did leave him eventually. Listen to what they say.

He wants the benefits without the responsibilities and he's made it clear. Your choice now.

Agree with les.

This guy is all about the 'we are great friends, the sex is amazing, why put a label on it??'

The only place this is going is down the toilet for your self esteem if you continue any kind of relationship with him. I'd drop him as a friend, as anything. More trouble than he's worth

Is he was any sort of a decent person and knows he fucks up relationships , he wouldn't be so cruel as to embark on one in the first place .

This is the sort of thing an abusive / controlling person says .

*If

When they tell you who they are...believe them.

Run for the hills..

He is saying he gives himself carte blanche to treat you like shit on an ongoing basis. And he's saying it loud and clear.

Based on the fact that you referred to you and him as a couple, you're on totally different pages and should run like the wind in the opposite direction.

The only decent response to him is 'bye bye'

Another part of what he is doing, is that he is hoping to trigger your "rescue mode".
He tells you he likes you but fucks up relationships > you like & care about him so want to help him by making sure this relationship works > he treats you like crap > you put up with it because you want to prove you can help him where others have failed > it becomes your fault that he treats you like crap > this cycle repeats and repeats....

He sounds like a bit of a nob. If the causal nature of the relationship doesn't suit you (personally the FWB thing has worked for me sometimes but it sounds like a bit more than that) then just tell him and call time on it.

He also might be being completely honest about the fact he's crap at relationships. To be honest, it's an assumption that lots of people of both sexes makes about themselves if they've had a few relationships that hit the skids. So a lot of people put the wall up. But the point is, nothing you can do can take the wall down so to speak. When he meets the right person for him he'll do that himself because he won't risk losing them by shutting them out. He's told you upfront that you're not going to be considered his girlfriend. If you want to be his girlfriend this isn't going to happen, so you should end it. If you want to be anyone else's girlfriend you should also end it, to give you that opportunity. If you're ok with a casual thing then you're good with this one.

Rewind it.

This is ground of "I've warned you not to get attached as it's just a fling for me" grounds. Either stop the sexual/relationship side and stay just friends or walk away entirely.

If he want to commit to you he would. No questions asked.

He's told you clearly that he does not want a relationship with you. If you go on he will treat you crap, cheat on and disrespect you, after all he's warned you so it's ok.

My friend's guy did exactly this, but she went along for 2years trying to change his mind. He dumped her to marry his ex. It was devastating. Don't let this happen to you.

He wants to play around, you're not going to be exclusive.

He sounds a right knob tho.

You are being used. Time to upgrade x