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Original poster

Very Quick opinion needed

13 replies

Brokentopieces · 04/12/2016 08:39

Long story short....I'm lying beside a man who I've being talking to (daily), messaging and have a real connection with. He's sleeping at the minute.
The back story is that we met on tinder and got soooo involved from the start, constant messaging, phone calls, met after a couple of weeks etc. we've only met once but the connection we have is amazing, like being best friends but caring about each other blah blah We have only met once due to distance, work etc in 2 and a half months (second time meeting at the minute). The night we met he was on his phone sending snaps of the 2 of us and he got a reply from a girl saying he looked so happy or something like that and mentioned that she lived about 5 hours away and they've chatted for ages but never met and probably would never met, so I thought it was a friendly thing- a thus stage we weren't really seeing anyone else but it wasn't exclusive either.
So he invited me to a party via FB last night and when I clicked onto it I see a comment from 'mary' about the party and him saying 'Mary you better be coming'. A couple of weeks ago it was his birthday and we both left a comment on his FB page saying happy birthday and I got no like or comment whereas Mary got a 'looking forward to seeing to soon xxx' or something like that. When I said it to him we had a chat and he said that we went exclusive etc which I get but up to then he was saying he wasn't with anyone or messaging people other than friendly chat . At that point we said we'd just be friends as he wasn't ready for a relationship with anyone. From that point we kept messaging, ringing each other and now I'm at his house, on his bed.
I'm lying beside him just feeling like getting up and leaving. I know we aren't together but I feel disrespected as we get on so well that he would invite her and me to the party knowing that neither of us would know anyone, like what dies he expect will happened when it's an unspoken thing that we would both be with him that night.

Should I just leave and block? I'll miss him as a friend, I've kind of cut contact with him but it's so strange not talking to him everyday. I not going to be treated like a fool either.
Fwiw I don't think she would go to the party but it's the point of it.

I hope everything makes sense...Thanks

OP posts:
bluecashmere · 04/12/2016 08:47

I can't fully understand the situation you've described above, but from what I can gather I would say cut all ties. You are more invested in this than him. He's said he just wants to be friends. Don't read more into it. Find someone who really wants you closer to home.

QuiteLikely5 · 04/12/2016 08:47

Ask him about it?

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 04/12/2016 08:51

I don't understand. You're lying beside him and yet you've cut all contact? I don't get it...

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 04/12/2016 08:51

I don't understand. You're lying beside him and yet you've cut all contact? I don't get it...

Bagina · 04/12/2016 08:53

I couldn't be bothered to compete with another woman, I really couldn't. Walk away. He's charmed you, but his options are firmly open. Are you both quite young?

tiej · 04/12/2016 08:55

So he said he's exclusive with Mary?

DoinItFine · 04/12/2016 08:56

You are lying beside a stranger.

You don't really know anything about him.

Whatever you do next, make it on that basis.

This man is not your friend. He's not your boyfriend. He doesn't want to be your boyfriend.

He's a man you have met twice, slept with once, and clearly fancy. More than he fancies you, it seems.

So what do you do?

Nothing pointlessly drama.

Go if you don't feel comfortable.

Block if you think he's playing you (it's possible).

Whatever you choose, know it doesn't matter much. He's someone you barely know. Your life will go on either way much as it did before.

WouldHave · 04/12/2016 08:56

If he doesn't want a relationship and you do, you're better off walking away.

GrumpyInsomniac · 04/12/2016 09:00

Your timeline is a bit muddled to me, so I may be missing something, but I'd wait for him to wake - properly, not just surfacing - and then talk to him. He does seem to be keeping his options firmly open, but for your own self respect I wouldn't just sneak out, I'd be clear about what I wanted and give him a chance to respond. And then if need be leave and block, calmly.

Original poster
Brokentopieces · 04/12/2016 09:19

I just left and on my way home.
Sorry for confusion....I cut contact before but we just seemed to keep talking. We talk alllll the time so we do know each other and when he's drunk he says he's in love with me, wishes things could be different. I know I sound like a fool but he was soooo full on from the start and I'm usually so closed off but somehow ended up really liking him.

OP posts:
ShowMePotatoSalad · 04/12/2016 09:40

He wants to keep his options open and have more than 1 sexual partner.

If you don't want a situation like that (and it seems like you don't) then you need to move on.

Isn't tinder mainly for hookups? Can you try other ways of dating where you're more likely to find someone who wants a proper relationship?

Blue2014 · 04/12/2016 10:09

Full on from the start is usually a warning sign .. I'd avoid that myself

LesisMiserable · 04/12/2016 16:05

Why does he wish things could be different? Why arent they? Hes not arsed homestly he isn't.

And tinder is whatever you make it, in my case its the way I met my now future husband two and a bit years ago.

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