Counselling or surrendering?

[NomDePrune]

I read this in the Guardian. It's very sensible, if blunt.
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/nov/26/how-to-tell-heading-divorce-sex-appreciate-partner-criticism-relationship?CMP=ShareiOSAppOther
Then I thought I'd look up relationship counselling because this is what I think will help in my case, if DP would only agree to go.
So, what else came up in the search results? "The Surrendered Wife's 6 Reasons Marriage Counseling is BS"
m.huffpost.com/us/entry/1933187
Now I'm as feminist as the rest of those Guardian readers, but does she not have a point - you can't change someone. Would counselling only work with a man who doesn't need to be dragged there?
I'm just interested to hear if anyone has tried any of her suggestions and not gone all Stepford.

You can change disordered thinking patterns tho. You can also work through emotions to see more clearly.
I see counselling like spring cleaning away a load of shit that's accumulated over the years. You are still the same person deep down but you might be able to see and think more clearly. It's not about changing someone as a person

I use to think that you can change disorded thought patterns too. The trouble is in my case is that my husband has sexually assaulted me on so many occasions and he still thinks he is right so now he rejects me totally.

Don't marriage counsel with anyone who is abusive. Don't enter into any counselling setting at all with them
Marriage counselling does work. I found the HuffPo article ridiculous and written by a woman with a vested interest in rubbishing it
Like reading a God's a joke article written by Satan

Most people need to learn to communicate with each other. Marriage counselling can help. It can also allow you both a space to speak in a constructive way.

My abusive ExH convinced me to go to marriage counselling. It was a defining moment in our splitting. It has worked for some couples I've known. But they still had some respect and love for eachother.