I think I should win a prize for attracting the most wrong-uns

[lottieandmia]

This guy who I've been talking to, but have not seen since I was a teenager has been messaging me on FB for months. We have a lot of shared interests and I've talked with him a lot on the phone. He does not live in the UK but insisted he's moving back soon. He kept on saying he thinks about me all the time and wants us to meet when he gets back. This has been going on for the best part of the last year (I know, I know)

This morning he tried to phone me at 6am but I couldn't answer it. I said I would call him later to which he replied 'ok xx'. Later, when I went to call him back I found he had deleted me from Facebook!. His behaviour can be odd and at times erratic. He has told me he is mentally unwell but not what is wrong with him. I asked him why he deleted me and he said 'because I thought it was the right thing to do'.

He's another in a long line of guys to behave in this odd way. Wtf am I missing in the early stages to not realise not to bother? I have turned down about 8 men in the last year because I stupidly thought that we might have some sort of future (having spoken so much on the phone). Maybe I like these dramatic characters and ignore decent people who behave in a consistent fashion. But really, WTF?

Well, I used to thrive on drama and wronguns too.

It peaked when I was breaking up with a "soul mate" boyfriend and I thought "ooh this is going to make a great story" AS WE WERE BREAKING UP.

I decided for the next candidate I would choose someone who would not make good copy in the hilariously engaging and ditsy book of my life. Just somebody sound and fun and open who treated me in a kind and considerate manner and never left me hanging.

He is now my beloved DH and I have no gripping dramas to relate to my friends over cocktails

Hmm, I think maybe this is my problem. I have tried dating 'normal' which turned into 'normal and possessive'.

No really I win that prize.

Competitive bastard collection - that's a new one!

I don't know whether they are all bastards in my case but they certainly do have loads of issues!

Nope. I've been on the phone to my dd since 6 this morning after she was hideously dumped by Number 3- -and she's not yet 20.

The issue here is your choices: he doesn't live in the UK and you hadn't even met up but you turned down dates!

Normal dating then dump if they begin to be controlling, mess you around or whatever.

Yes Dozer, you are absolutely right. Every time I spoke to him he asked if I had been seeing anyone. So he got me into this place where I was waiting for him to come back.

Sorry to hear that Bertrand

I think I'm a contender for this one been flirting with a guy for ages he gives me his number only for me to find out he has suddenly got a girlfriend because he thought I wasn't interested in him but he wants to see pictures of my tits

And another one just yesterday we matched on tinder but I didn't send a message instantly so he did yesterday morning when I hadn't replied by tea time he sent an essay saying he assumed I had met someone else no worries good luck but I'm missing out on a great guy

I have three kids I'm busy!

Omg. I don't do online dating any more. I remember meeting a guy from pof. He was already drunk when I got there and couldn't wait to tell me he was a cocaine addict and his dad has had to bail him out of a debt. He then told me his ex was in prison for stabbing him.

I chose 2 paedophiles , had NO idea . I lived a very sheltered life . dd's Dad in prison for child porn It took me 2 days to move off the sofa after he was arrested . Luckily hes the other side of the world , we split 4 years ago but it's majorily affected me and 4.5 years ago I found out ds' Dad had been arrested for child sexual abuse but "not enough evidence"

How do I get myself into these situations ???
I've stayed single for 3 years ... and counting , I'm scared to get another !!!

Mum that was my ex and father to my youngest two he still sees them unsupervised because of lack of evidence

The guy unmatched me! I messaged him apologising and explaining I had been busy but could chat if he wanted he fucking unmatched me!

The system is all wrong ... my kids are in Foster Care but SS said I didn't protect my DS by allowing him to see his Dad who had been arrested for alleged abuse to his girlfs child . SS nor the police came to my house to tell me ... How can I protect my child from something I know nothing about !!! He only had my son a few times a year and we had no contact... I'm Mystic Meg obviously!

I'm off men now ... A guy on PoF even said to me he couldn't meet me coz I had kids and he had stuff to do with kids on his criminal record , Why do I attract them !!!!

run clare's law on everyone who comes within a mile of you

ive no idea whats so attractive about me to wrong men either

OP, are you the person who was waiting for him to call you when he flew to the UK for a wedding?

He was in the country for 3 days and he only called you from the airport as he was waiting for his flight back?

Are you honestly surprised that he is actually not very nice?

He's exactly the same person as he was when he couldn't be arsed to meet up with you when he had the chance. Next time dump someone the second they do something horrible. Don't sit there and wait for him to magically improve his behaviour. He won't.

Oh Kidnapped - yes how embarrassing that you remember this! After I was annoyed with him for expecting me to drive 4 hours to see him I blocked him and he tried to contact me some other way to say how sorry he is etc and would I please give him another chance. He says he has lots of issues.

Next time I won't respond to this sort of thing.

"He says he has lots of issues".

To use that old mumsnet favourite, when someone tells you who they are - believe them.

At least you are rid of him now. And you don't seem devastated by what he's done, just philosophical so that's a good sign for the future.

Onwards and upwards.

I'm just confused as to why some people behave so strangely. But yes you're right.