AIBU to expect husband to play with children.

[Gladrag]

DH refuses point blank to play with our children. Every evening after tea, he will make a point of turning the television round to a programme only he likes, while loudly exclaiming "Aren't you all going upstairs to play". If the children ask if he will play too, he will turn to me and say "You started this playing with the children nonsense". If we don't go upstairs he will expect us to remain silent while he watches his programme and will shout at them if they talk.

DD is beginning to question why her father is always grumpy and I am sure it is affecting her and DS. It is certainly affecting me and making me feel constantly low and on edge.

One particular time I remember was when I was washing up one evening and he did the moaning till we went upstairs thing. I left a few items in the washing up bowl while we played. When I got back down, he said sarcastically "If you sort out that soup of the day (referring to the murky washing up water), I'll do the washing up for you". Maybe it was an overreaction, but I just ran upstairs in tears.

I have tried talking to him but he's not interested. He does work long hours and he needs his own time without the children. But I need time on my own too. TBH I need time without him more than anything but I don't know what to do. Am I just overreacting?

No. he sounds awful. It's not normal to feel stressed and anxious in your own home. Not everyone is over-excited by the prospect of an evening of Monopoly but we all have stressful lives and still manage to treat our children and partners with respect.

No you're not over reacting he sounds horrible. And what with "do the washing up for you"? How about he just does the washing up because it's his house too. Or plays with his own kids because he's their dad. He's not being fair to you or the DC OP.

You are not. I am so sorry that you feel so unsupported.
Possibly he is exhausted, stressed, maybe slightly depressed. Certainly he needs help.
Not accepting that children do need quality time with both parents is FAR from normal.
Worst case scenario he's a selfish dick.

How old is he? He sounds like a leftover from the 1950s! This is not acceptable behaviour and I think you are going to have to call him out on it.

What do you get out of this relationship now?.

You have tried talking to him and he's not interested so that says an awful lot about him as well. Its all about him and getting his own needs met, he seems supremely selfish.

What do you yourself want to teach your children about relationships and what do you think they are learning here?. They are learning that their father has no real interest in them. It is already affecting them markedly and will continue to do so. Do not do your bit here to teach them that this from their dad is at all normal because it is not. He working long hours is no excuse either.

He's a substandard husband and father. What is he good for?

I can't believe that attitude has survived the fifties! Is he quite old, and with parents who were old when they had him? Have you tried telling him that his attitude is unacceptable and he needs to shape up?

Bloody hell! He makes you and the DC go upstairs out of his way?

Earth would need to freeze over before any man sent me and my kids upstairs in our own home!!!

He is abusive and he should be understanding that kids make noise and you get to watch your fav shows once they're in bed. It must be nice for him how he likes his life to carry on as it did pre children.

Send him upstairs tomorrow!

You are married to a cunt and your children will suffer. Please leave him as soon as you can you poor thing