Help me pull myself together and be happy for her...

[Zaphodsotherhead]

My DD2 is moving to Australia at Christmas, flying out on Christmas day with her partner. They told us about nine months ago that they were going, and I was delighted (she's been out before and loved it). They've both got jobs lined up, look likely to settle out there permanently and...I am presenting a smiley 'oh, how wonderful, what an opportunity!' face to the world, but I am going to miss her so much.

She's the middle child in the family, so it's not as though my only child is emigrating, it's only a 24 hour flight away, etc etc, but the closer it gets the more of a wreck I become when I think about it. We will Skype, Facetime, text, and everything but....she won't be here.

So please tell me how I keep myself from degenerating into a blubbering mess for the entire run up to Christmas!

You sound like a brilliant, supportive parent. You don't need to pull yourself together, how you feel is totally natural and normal. Over time it will get easier. But no doubt you will feel tearful on Christmas Day

That must be tough. I think it's ok to let go a bit and cry if you need to. Especially tell her you'll miss her, even though you can see what a great opportunity it is.

Why don't you start planning your first trip out there. Is that possible?

I agree with ShowMePotatoSalad that you sound like a brilliant, supportive mum

I understand. My sister is my best friend. She moved to another country five years ago and I was gutted. I put a brave face on it. We talk and message each other a couple of times a week but it's not the same. We meet up a few times a year but we both miss dropping by each others house. She has a new partner who's lovely but I can't get to know him as well as her old partner because I just don't see him very often. My kids adore her and i wish they could spend more time with her. I just have to think that I'm lucky to have such a special relationship in my life. You're lucky to have such a special relationship in your life too. X

You sound like an amazing parent to me. Our job is to give our children roots and wings and you've clearly achieved that. Xxx

What jeaux said. When dd was younger I was all for her travelling and moving to a different city to expand her horizons. 2 weeks ago when she was flathunting I was praying she'd stay in my area (she did). So I'd be the same as you - but also very proud

As someone who's been doing the 'leaving', please don't put on a brave face to the extent that your loved one doesn't realise how missed they will be!!

I've just spent 3 years away from family and it wasn't until I said I was coming back that I was told how devastated everyone was when I left! That's not to say it would have changed my decision, but certainly would have been nice to know!

Thanks everyone, (sorry for the late reply, had to work)..

I shall be allowably sad at her going, but don't want her last memory of me for a while to be me with tears streaming down my face! You've all made me feel a bit better about her going, and a bit less of a wimp!

She will have a wonderful time, and you've all cheered me up - at least I've done a good enough job of bringing her up that she feels she can do this!

A wimp?!? My neighbour has been in the depths since her boy emigrated to Oz last year. It just is a very difficult thing to face.

My heart instinctively goes out parents who wave off their adult kids to the other side of the world. So give yourself a break xx

I don't really mean 'a wimp', but I really don't want her to remember me dissolving into tears on her going - I think she feels a certain amount of guilt at going so far away anyway, and I don't want to play on that to any degree!

I will be sad, but things will go on and we shall try to Facetime as much as possible. She'll be having such a great time that any sadness will hopefully be alleviated!