Is this an offence?

[fivetosix]

I need your help urgently please.
Just seen the ex twunt and he says he has proof about 'things I have been doing behind his back'.
He quoted something that he would have only known through a message I sent to someone which leads me to believe my phone my have been hacked. There is no way on this earth he could have known this information from elsewhere. Can I report him without proof as such? I feel sick to my stomach 😔 nothing I have is personal anymore.

I also found out last week that he is questioning DS (9) about what I do when he isn't there- if there are men coming to the house etc. I recorded DS telling me this. Is this not emotional abuse?

It's totally illegal to hack things. Check the apps which are installed on your phone. Screenshot anything you are not sure of, don't delete anything until you've looked them up (not on your phone) and know what they are. There are lots of things out there which could have been recording messages. Could he have got it from the person you sent it to? Could he have seen your phone? Could he have your son checking your phone? Lots of possibilities.

I am uncomfortable with anyone recording their children tbh, do you need to do that?

He had hit me in the past and refused point blank to admit it. I ended up needing a MRI scan and he said he didn't hit me, instead I fell down the stairs.

I felt as though I needed concrete proof that he is putting pressure on the children in that way. DS told me he didn't like him doing it and I felt it would be my word against his if I didn't get proof.

I hear you. What a bastard he is.

What support do you have in place now? Are you going through divorce etc? What's the current situation for you?

I filed for divorce on Monday. We are living separately and have been since September. I am the primary caregiver and he has the children two nights a week.

I have no surviving family unfortunately, but thankfully some good friends who have been great support. His family live in Turkey.

He couldn't understand that after 12 years of emotional and physical abuse that I fell out of love with him. He begged and cried and vowed he would change but I just couldn't face going through it all again. I made the decision to split two years ago as I wasn't happy but his family got involved and I was persuaded to try again for the children.

Today he was vile, shouting at me and telling me to fuck off out of his home.

I have reported it to 101. They said it's good to have a log, but proving anything would be difficult. I have purchased a new number and changed all passwords on my accounts.

It's the kids I feel sorry for- they don't deserve any of this

Do you have an iPhone OP? If so do a spotlight search for an app called Cydia. If it's there (and it can be hidden so it wouldn't show in your normal apps screen but will show up on a spotlight search) it means your phone has been jailbroken and he could have downloaded spyware. I'm pretty sure that means it's on your phone not your sim so you will need to have your phone restored or buy a new one rather than just changing the number. He could also be accessing your messages through your iTunes account if he knows the password and has linked another device so you would need to change your iTunes password to stop that.

If you find he is hacking you use it to your advantage you can feed him false information

I was in this situation . I came to conclusion he was hacking me but reading into it it's quite tricky to do unless he has access to your phone . Unless like another poster said your ipad linked with your phone . What I discovered was none of the above but that he was recording me from an old phone when he went out each day on an AP called voice recorder . He was recording me 24/7 . This can also be done on a hidden tablet which was also the case with me . I was only alerted to it as it bleeped as the battery was going flat .

Are you sure you 100% trust the friend you sent the message to. Even if you do trust them, do they have a partner who may have access to their messages and be feeding info to your ex?

Do what you can to ensure he can't access your messages or hack your phone, but don't let him see he has unnerved you, you are separated so there is no behind his back just none of his business.

Yes, check that friend isn't passing stuff on.

If you have an iPhone check your iCloud information and change the password - it's perfectly easy to either have messages duplicate onto another device (I was surprised that my ex's messages used to appear on an old mac until I changed the settings, also he could clone the phone from a back up..