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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Why does it hurt if I barely knew him

7 replies

ThPrincess · 02/12/2016 12:47

I met him in July and we had a great first date, after this everything was fine.
Several things happened which made me suspicious that he had a girlfriend, I did have several heated conversations with him over it which he always denied and tried to reassure me.

He started to do things like send me his location and update me on his whereabouts.
(I know this all sounds strange because I barely knew him but it was like we have known each other a long time)

I started to distance myself from him because it all is just drama, I should not be acting this way with someone I just met and he has come across untrustworthy.

He would wait a couple weeks then call me like nothing happen most recently he did so when I was abroad a couple weeks ago.
He messaged me a lot throughout my holiday and said how much he is desperate to see me, he wants me and if he had it his way i would be his now but he is always so busy and I probably dont believe him because of this. He also said he gets upset when I argue with him over "nothing".

We arranged to see each other on sunday, I got ready and then he phones me at 9pm asking if he can go to the gym before he sees me (i have no idea why he asked my permission)
I said it is fine. I did not hear from him until 1 am he messaged me his location and said he was outside the gym and lost his car keys.

I do not believe this for a second, he would of contacted me in between the time if that was the case, I think he had a better offer.

I was awake but did not message back untill morning and said I fell asleep. He then messaged me the next day asking me to come out around 8 pm and i said no its to late.

Then two days ago he updated his whatsapp with his arm and another girls arm with the same watches on. After this I just blocked him.

With all the other stuff which has happened I just had enough, I know my instinct is right about him having a GF

However I still feel sad about it all, it actually hurt me and I have no idea why, I have not done anything sexual with him.

why do you think it hurt me so much? I will not speak to him again, I cant be bothered with all the drama he brings.

OP posts:
HoneyBeeMum1 · 02/12/2016 13:39

Sorry to hear that you are so sad.

Any kind of rejection can hurt, especially if you liked him and wanted to believe him. It sounds as if he probably did like you, but didn't quite have the guts to betray his poor girlfriend.

Give yourself permission to feel a little sad for a while and then congratulate yourself on dodging a bullet Wink. It sounds as if his girlfriend is the unfortunate one in the long term. Flowers

TheNaze73 · 02/12/2016 16:14

It hurts as you've been rejected by an egotistical twat.

Spin that on its head & you've actually had a lucky escape

AnyFucker · 02/12/2016 16:18

I think you should congratulate yourself on sussing him out, tbh

Adora10 · 02/12/2016 16:23

Jesus, he had wrong written all over him, life is for learning lessons, you've learn that the only person you can really trust is yourself.

Emmageddon · 02/12/2016 16:34

You dodged a bullet, be happy for that. There are better men out there, seriously.

Original poster
ThPrincess · 02/12/2016 20:18

yeah most defiantly

OP posts:
ALaughAMinute · 02/12/2016 23:03

Just be glad you didn't sleep with him. Your instinct was spot on so you can feel pleased about that. You are well rid of him.

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