xmas presents for/from BF

[BumDNC]

We haven't set a budget but I thought we agreed 'small stocking' type things.
I don't have lots of money (which he knows) and he's made it clear he prefers my time over any money anyway so I thought I would go small and thoughtful. But I know he is a super generous type and he is constantly attempting to pry from me what I like, and in my mind I don't want to end up with him buying me something more expensive than what I have for him, as in unbalanced.
He's tried to get me to smell perfumes, point out things in Boots etc and now is trying to get me to tell him what size tops I would like... I do not want him to buy me tops (what if I hate them or don't fit!!).
This is literally the most first world problem post EVER but this is our first xmas together and I don't want to be feeling like I am spoilt and then bad about it!

Help my dear mumsnetters, navigate the romance of xmas

Ooh gosh, I would be feeling under pressure in your shoes. Can you talk budgets?

Or... suggest putting money towards a going away for the weekend type thing? I would rather that than gifts though, it's just me..

He sounds lovely

He is so so lovely but yes to the pressure! I mean what do I get him? Argh!

Maybe you need to spell it out... Last year I told my BF to just get me one of his favourite CDs or books that he knew I would like. The one he got was really thoughtful.

When I brought up budgets it kind of turned into him sternly telling me not to concern myself about it. I know he has more money than me but I fiercely try to pay my way all the time. It bothers me far more than it bothers him

Im feeling exactly the same. I've bought him 5 things now but worrying is it too much, too little? Have no idea of his thinking re presents. Also now wondering should I get him a stocking?!

Don't buy him anything else, he may feel that you look after him a lot and he wants to look after you. Traditionally, men often earn more than women and can often afford more.

Relax, it's his choice how much he wants to spend. It's a present.

If you were reasonably flush and met someone you like, wouldn't you like to treat them?

God yes!
I think there is a nice balance of spoilt with us - we treat each other but I'm the nervous one with the finance gap because I think he earns probably double what I earn and he has less outgoings. Money doesn't worry him like it does me. He's considerate of that but my inner independent woman (screw YOU Beyoncé) feels like I shouldn't accept what i can't give?

Burn - it's very rare that 2 people meet who actually have the same disposable income and attitude towards gifts. If you think about it, when does that happen? Don't worry at all. If he wants to treat you, let him - most men will if they like you! It will make him feel good about himself. I doubt he gives a hoot what you give him. People only do what they want to do.

Just ask him what the budget it is & tell him what you want!!

I think with budget, a lot depends on length of relationship & income, so mutually agree

Exactly the same! He's brought me a Mulberry handbag! Yet I can barely afford anything! Either way I'll make an effort. Here's what I've done:

• tickets for a day out with his daughter £20. (I didn't know what else to get him but he loves spending time with his little girl)
• I brought a really cheap (but gorgeous) photo frame from TX Max and printed a photo in Tesco for 35p.
• he loves Reece's pieces, brought loads from the poundshop and will use as a stocking filler
• a bottle of JD £12 which he loves.

I'll pick him some additional bits up. I still feel inadequate though although he'll appreciate my efforts.

That sounds lovely, and nothing to be ashamed of! A thoughtful frame and photo always goes down well, and favourite foods show you are paying attention.

I haven't even got that far with presents like that!
He doesn't like any spirits, I have just got him odd bits so far but might get him a lovely scarf and some nice treats