How can I be so depressed about being rejected

[Depressanto]

by someone I've never even met?

This is Online Dating Related. I have a back story of being completely in love (or infatuated) with a man who was treating me very badly - basically that whole using me/fallback girl/on/off contact thing. My self esteem was done a number on.

So I started Online dating. So as not to drip feed this was contact via a non-mainstream website. It was via a site for people with a niche interest.

I'm very fussy about who I would reply to let alone speak to. So this guy sounds great - we have a lot in common generally plus the niche interest.

We get to speaking on the phone. For me it was a great conversation and I was seriously thinking this could go somewhere. He doesn't have my number - I called him and withheld my number.

Since then I've heard nothing from him - this was a week ago. I was hoping he'd send me an email through the site saying "good to talk to you/speak again/meet up". But nothing.

For some reason, this has plunged me into a pit of despair.

I keep analysing the conversation thinking what did I say/do to turn him off. And wondering how I could have misread it so badly - ie. thought it was good when he obivously wasnt interested.

I had really thought (I know this is jumping the gun a bit ) that this had real potential - but taking into acount the niche interest, it was all pretty rare I thought to have so much in common.

It's also now made me feel real depressed about the other infatuation guy and am thinking about him constantly and wondering why I am so shit that any man I like never likes me. And how all other women find it so easy to like someone who actually likes them.

I just read a thread about being 35 and feeling alone and the despair of living for yourself alone. I feel exactly like that. After this experience I can't imagine a man wanting me.

The stupid think is that this is rejection from a man who has never even seen what I look like. I have been rejected after a phone conversation ( I have a nice voice and am accent and speech impediment free -before you judge me) and feel utterly utterly destroyed.

God imagine if he'd seen what I look like. Why am I so down?

Maybe he was looking for someone from Wolverhampton with a lisp?

Nice hot bath and bed for you young lady. It will all feel better in the morning. Have a look at the relationship thread from time to time, to remind yourself how shitty and dispiriting it can be IN a relationship. It will make you reappraise feeling fleetingly lonely.

Are you physically fit? Could you concentrate on something like getting really physically fit? It would give you all those swooshes of endorphins. Or something else that will make you feel better about yourself?

O dearie me. Is there any end to the way in which the human mind can torture itself?

1. Your nice accent/speech impediment voice may have convinced him that he was punching above his weight.

1. He is married, was looking for a bit on the side, his dw overheard the conversation and cut his goolies off put a stop to his online activities pdq.

1. The day after talking to you he was hit by a bus.

1. The day after talking to you he was bowled over by a real life goddess of the type that none of us, including moi, could hope to emulate.

1. The day after talking to you he had to appear in court where he was sentenced to a long stretch.

1. He was only talking to you to fill in time while waiting for plane to

< premature posting syndrome has struck again >

1. He was only talking to you to fill in time while waiting for a plane to Australia where he's emigrated for good with no intenton of ever returning to Blighty.

1. The day after talking to you he was extradited to a third world country, charged with a heinous crime, and is langushing in a hellhole prison awaitng trial

1. The day after talking to you he entered a monastery where he has taken a vow of silence...

you get the picture? All sorts of things could have happened to this man who you had begun to emotionally invest in even though you wouldn't be able to pick him out of a line up. and NONE of them have anything do with your looks or personality.

Put this one down to bad timing, or chalk it up to having dodged a bullet. Either way, it wasn't to be and the door is now open for the next candidate to appear

another one to add to goddess's list (and frequently the case with online men) - he decided to get back with an ex or someone he already met and liked on the site but who (until now) left him hanging.

Seriously OP, it's tough to find that strong mutual attraction with potential for LTR where both parties are available and looking for LTR. It's just tough, when you are past your 20s and don't meet hordes of single people.