Hi everyone,
This is a horrible conversation to have, but i really need advice. I have been married for 16 years now, and frankly the last 3-4 years has been a non relationship. We basically live in the same house, but that's about it. We have not even had sex but a couple times in the last 4 years and that was ehh.. lets make the motions. He is very controlling in an, im insecure and need to be part of everything you do kind of way. Ie.. facebook msgs multiple times a day, texts, and even a call if i don't answer. He is always on top of the bank account, and my friends tell me i'm married to a stalker as he will call while we are out shopping, laughing and going.. oh why did you spend so and so in so and so shop. I feel like i have no independence at all anymore. He is a huge introvert and never goes out with friends, and if i want to, he feels sick on the night and tries to guilt trip me. He is always afraid i will leave him for some one else, and if i wear something sexy or make up, he is like, why are you doing that? He is not abusive but it wears you down. I am not perfect in any way, and im sure he has a list of things that i do or dont that he cant stand either. However, we have three kids, and its not a happy place in our house. There is no joy, lots of shouty arguments, between everyone and general moodiness. The kids are 13 12 and 4. the 12 year old is autistic, and hubby still gets angry with the things he does that is part of his ASD. Im so tired of whispered arguments, not talking, and passive aggressive behaviour. Sadly, to the point, that I don't even get upset with the idea of him being gone any more. I fear the change. I do not work, am diabetic and have special needs kids. How am i going to do it? I'm a full time carer and the Diabetes has secondary conditions like depression and just let me die moments.
I've done the online calculations of benefits, i don't like the idea of being on benefits but i don't know what else to do. I have zero family. It is just me and the kids. His family is all gone as well, so just us. we have no support or outside help.
If i were to make him leave, how long does it take to get help? I dont have any savings, and no money coming in other than carers allowance and sons DLA.. which goes into the main bank account. I dont even have my own money... Help.. what do i do?