Emotional Support

[TempUsername007]

I have NC for this.

I have recently got back together with my boyfriend (we've been on/off for about three years).

At the same time, I have been going through a health scare and have a test tomorrow. I told my boyfriend about the whole thing and told him I was struggling.

The problem I've got is that he doesn't seem at all interested in being there for me during this week. I saw him last Friday and again yesterday but in between I've heard nothing from him. Not a peep. I messaged him on Sunday and he didn't respond. I didn't feel able to message him again as he has had issues with previous girlfriends being too demanding(!) and he has a go at me if I ask for more contact with him.

I confronted him today and told him I felt really alone when I needed him the most. He said that he had been there for me and that i am over-reacting.

If the situation were reversed and it was him having tests for cancer I would be by his side. However, he's got me thinking again that perhaps I am over-reacting and being too needy. It's just I feel so alone in my relationship.

Is this normal behaviour?

He's a good-time guy, isn't he? He's not what you need in a grown up relationship.

You're not too needy and don't believe him when he says you are. Seriously, he's not ready for an adult relationship.

If the situation were reversed and it was him having tests for cancer I would be by his side.

You are fundamentally incompatible. You have very different values. That's me trying to be impartial

I dated one or two of this type once. Ditch! Now! best pre-Christmas present you can give yourself. I gave myself this gift last year and got together with fabulous DP surprisingly soon after! What a world of difference there.

They always try to tell you're overreacting and needy. It saves them from having to face up to the issue that they're uncaring and cold-hearted.

Sorry about your health scare. I hope it will all turn out okay and that soon enough you have someone by your side who is emotionally available to offer the support required for a loving, committed relationship

Thanks. He has just messaged me saying that he thinks we have been arguing a lot recently and that we should set aside some time for a proper talk.

I don't think we have been arguing a great deal. Largely because I've hardly seen him. Anyway, I've told him I've got bigger things to worry about at the minute so he needs to take a number.

So raising issues is 'arguing' for him? He doesn't show much concern for you. he sounds very selfish.

Well if after three years you 'don't feel you can text him' it's just a non starter.

Let this one go and celebrate Christmas with not only good news re health scare (hopefully) but with this useless deadweight lifted...

Don't wait for this 'talk' just tell him you're done. Then block and delete and go and see a proper friend.

Good luck for your investigations

Why did you split up previously? More importantly, why on earth did you get back with him? He sounds an arse of the highest order. Bin him and take care of yourself.