When you find out that people you like don't like you

[Gutted2016]

I'm too old to feel like this really. My lo is 8 months and I've been going to a group for at least 3 of those months. There is a little group of three of us who always talk and last week we said about going to a different group on a different day as an outing. I was really pleased as I find it so hard to make friends and I really like these two.

Anyway, they cancelled on me but stil met up. They meet up every week it turns out at each other's houses and when one mentioned it, the other one shh-ed her a little. I totally understand I don't have dibs on who is friendly with who, everyone is free to see who they like and they have every right to see each other without me, of course. I just still feel a bit down about it because they are/were really nice.

I'll feel ok about it in a couple of days but having a sorry for myself moment! It's crap when this happens, isn't it!

Sounds pretty shitty behaviour on their part, all that covert sshh ing is a bit playground. I think it catastrophises it a bit to say they don't like you. That doesn't come across. It just means they've found a deeper bond with each other. Nothing wrong with that (she covert meetings are extremely shitty). But it doesn't mean they are not your friend just because they are slightly firmer friends.

Start thinking better of yourself. X

I know how you feel, you must feel like you thought you were all meeting up outside of the group for the first time when in fact they'd been doing it for ages. And then they did invite you and cancelled! Don't worry, if you have other friends these two don't mean anything in the grand scheme and for everyone you meet who you don't click so well with, there are always others who you do. Maybe chat to some of the other mums at the group.

I think the same, it's very unfriendly of them, but you'd be amazed at how many acquaintance friendships do this type of thing, I've had them talk about what time they are meeting to go somewhere, knowing full well that I haven't been invited. But I'm pretty mercenary in that regard, I always think fuck them, if they don't like me it's not my fault they have bad taste. It's funny though I'm the first person they think of when they want something. People are strange. Maybe you'd feel better if you arranged something for you all to do, if you feel like it that is.

I think that's it really, I thought it was the first time we were all going out from the group separately and it turns out that they'd been going for ages and I just wasn't invited. 😂 And then when they did invite me they changed their minds and went anyway!

It's life, it happens, I know. You can't get on with everyone. I suppose just knowing I wasn't as liked as I thought I was is a bit rubbish.

That is horrible. I think most people would be upset and it sort of takes the good out of what ye have. Are there other people at the group you could gravitate towards as they sound a bit mean. Hate that kind of carry on.

Did they still go to the other group though, or just meet at one of their houses? It might be that one didn't feel up to 'going out' but the two did their usual get together at home. Maybe one had had bad news or something (considering all possibilities here).
However, i do agree with pp that i'd try talking to some of the other dparents at the group for a while - as, whatever the excuse, that doesn't sound ideal. As a pp has said, think 'their loss!' And move on. Easier said than done, i know... why not even go to the other group without them?