sad, mad and had enough

[user1480503597]

I've turned to this forum as sadly in real life don't feel like I have anyone to share my problems with and have been having difficulties in general life and my relationship. Don't want to rant so I'll try and keep it brief! Married 4 kids recently lost my brother, which I am struggling with as it was only 5 month ago, but coping in my own way. Recently started University worked my butt off at college for a year to gain a place at uni. I've always wanted to get back into education and follow my passion but due to situations and relationships haven't had the opportunity, now I have finally done it :) Happy with myself kids are doing great, however my realtionship with my husband is crap. I have really learned alot about myself and what I want out of life in the last few years and have more self confidence and direction than I have ever had. Husband however has no motivation, goals or dreams and I really feel that he is holding me back.
He has no conversation in him and only seems interested in having sex with me, not what I have to say. He has all theses big plans of a new house, car, holidays but is on the verge of getting sacked from his job, minimum wage he hates it and has no plans to find another or improve his employ ability. He is no help what so ever around the house, often waiting for me to return from late lectures to prepare tea, I do pretty much everything house and child related, as well as trying to study, I've recently had to quit my part time job, as it was too much, but don't feel like I can rely on him financially or in any other way to be honest. Sorry that was a long rant he says I'm selfish and should make more time for him, but in all honesty, although we do spend time together, he bores me and is only interested in getting me into bed

You have a fairly easy way out if you do decide its the end..Good luck OP

Cary2012 You have got it spot on, I think I'm already starting to resent him. I know deep down that I need to leave him and concentrate on my children and my studying it is just so hard to make that move and have to deal with all the heart ache that comes with it, but I cannot carry on like this miserable as sin and struggling to do what makes me happy

Bless you OP, there were loads of other issues that contributed to the end of my twenty year marriage, but all I can say is that the fear of ending, that year of knowing what I had to do but not being able to do it, was far, far worse than the year that followed after I finished it.

Sorry to hear about your brother, my best friend died a month before I ended my marriage. I think losing her, and the sheer overwhelming grief actually made me realise that life is too short to live an unhappy life. Also, hard and at times unbearable, coping with losing her made me realise that I was stronger than I thought. I hope that makes some kind of sense, it is hard to put into the right words.

There is no rush for you to end this. Get used to the idea, think it all through, but it might help to cope in the short term to know that this is a phase, and you will make changes when you're ready.

To the people who say he's threatened, I'd ask, has he always been a lazy bugger, before you started uni?