Snoring and sweats..Falling apart because of night habits..

[Gemisagem12]

Hi mumsnet.
I am in desperate need of some advice, I'm 23 and have been with my current boyfriend for 2 years, I have a 3 year old from a previous relationship and we have a 4 'month old together, we decided it was time to move in together in August just gone and since then I've been living in hell! He's an amazing boyfriend don't get me wrong, but at night he snores and sweats like you wouldn't believe. An average night goes like this: my 3 year old goes to bed at 7, my 4 month old settles around 9 so I say I'm going to bed which he gets upset about because we don't spend any time together, he gets in bed around 11 which is when my 4 month old wakes for a bottle, by the time
I've fed her and settled her he is snoring the roof down, by 2am after tossing and turning trying to sleep she wakes for another bottle, I feed a settle her again and as I go to get back in bed the sheets are soaked through so he turns the mattress and I get back in, after another hour of tossing I sleep on the couch with the baby in the pram, she wakes at 4:30 for another bottle and is awake then until 7 which is when my 3 year old is up and I spend all day alone looking after 2 children running a household and an aching back from lying on an uncomftorable couch. I'm at my wits end I'm exhausted and tired to the point where I scream at him
To go sleep at his mothers. I simply can't take anymore! He refuses to see a doctor and I mean point blank will not go. I've tried nose strips for him I've tried rolling him
Notning works, I need help before I lose my mind and snap!

My DH was the same, and got steadily worse over the last 2 years. Plus, always tired, struggled to get up in the mornings etc. Eventually he agreed to go to the doctor, got a referral to specialist sleep docs on hospital and has been diagnosed with severe sleep apnoea (as I suspected). He is getting a CPAP machine next week which we're hoping does the trick.
So, my advice is to keep trying to get him to docs.

Separate beds ☺ my husband and I actually have separate bedrooms and I love my room. It's my fragrant sanctuary which I can have just as I want. We've been together 25 years and have 3 children.

If you can't stretch to separate bedrooms at least make a comfortable bed for yourself and get some earplugs.

Animaniac, thanks for the reply!
what steps did your husband have to go through before he was diagnosed? Were there any tests?

First went to the GP, explained the 'symptoms' (snoring, sweating, tiredness etc), and got a referral to a consultant. Saw consultant who said it sounded like sleep apnoea and referred him to a sleep clinic. The sleep clinic gave him a device to attach to his finger for a night. Clinic reviewed the data, and consultant diagnosed severe sleep apnoea and put him on the list to get a CPAP machine, which he is getting on Tuesday. I can't wait. Like you, it's been really affecting our relationship, so I'm really hoping this helps!

I agree, do not sleep with him if it is going to sacrifice your rest. My dh snored awfully so I bunked in with our lo...air mattress plus a 4" foam topper was actually better than I thought it would be. He lost a bunch of weight and hardly snores anymore so I am back with him at night.

Your sleep is important so it is valid to get selfish about it (this is the good kind of selfish btw). Sleep deprivation is torturous.