At breaking point with my job... but am I the problem?

[Helloyou4]

I can't cope with my job anymore and I don't know if I'm being unreasonable.

I work in quite a competitive industry. I finished training with this company around 4 weeks ago. The training was all but non-existent. I was rarely given tasks to do that weren't admin style jobs, so my understanding of the 'actual' role was very limited.

Whilst that is one issue, the second issue is the one I'm finding harder to deal with. The team I work in is quite small. The senior staff pass me work that realistically takes 3 days to do (view from another colleague when I asked how long it would take them), but I'm asked to do it within a day and to 'work tonight to send it out.' I have no objection to working late, but even this timescale is unrealistic. When I mentioned this to my manager today, and said I hadn't finished the work today as I literally hadn't had time, he said 'you've really got to start planning your work better.' I then replied that I have NO control over my workload as it's just launched at me from more senior staff. When I went back to my manager with a question on the work, he said he couldn't answer it and it's not something he would normally do?? So tonight, I'm stuck with a document I don't really know how to work on, feeling like shit because it wasn't done sooner, and panicking too as tomorrow all hell will break loose if I've not got it done.

Senior staff seem to give me work that they don't actually know how to do. So when I have a question on it, I'm left to my own devices. I'm also worried that I'm not developing professionally.

This probably sounds like a big moan... it's hard to convey on here. I hate to cause disruption at work - I've never complained in a job before- and I'm not shy of hard work. I just feel utterly demotivated and lost with what I should be doing.

I was also told today that I should be leaving the office before 6, even if I have no work to finish, and only those who have parenting duties should be entitled to leave on time. I don't know where that comment came from as I work from home every night for a good 2 hours.

Am I being too sensitive here? Is this normal stuff and should I just take it on the chin?

I'm usually so much tougher than this but I feel so alone.

*shouldn't be leaving the office before 6

It sounds an awful situation for you, and while I know this isn't much help, I'd say it sounds like a very unhealthy work environment.
How would you like things to be?

What industry are you in? Maybe another MN can help you with your current task

I would like to feel like I know what I'm doing in terms of the content of the work they want. Which is difficult when my manager doesn't seem to have a view in many instances.

I'd also like to have more realistic time frames to do things. A day to read and review 336 pages doesn't seem realistic... but I'm open to the fact I could be wrong and maybe I'm a bit stupid!!

And I would like to be able to leave work without snide comments about not being a parent.

I don't know if these things are unfair of me to want, though. Am I being precious?

I feel so shit tonight.

Honestly? This is not you. This is them.

In your shoes, I would be looking for another role.

Just appalling to say that you can't leave on time unless you are a parent! I know it is common - but there is a difference between all working all out for a client emergency or something and expecting this to be every day.

My bet is they have a huge staff turnover.

You are not being precious, stupid or even unskilled. I'm on the verge of writing you "I quit" letter already! Is there a union rep or an HR dept you could talk to? If it's a very insular business then maybe this is impractical/unsafe. Others might know if there are outsiders you could talk to about this because as an outsider this sounds all wrong to me.

You can only do what you can; your determination to try your best shines through and I'm sure another employer would snap you up very quickly. Don't sell them your health or soul, OP. Don't let them or this document give you a sleepless night. They aren't worthy of you. They are exploiting you.

your not you in line 1 ...

This isn't you, it's them so please do not beat yourself up about this but instead make a plan to get out of there ASAP as this sort of environment is not good for one's self esteem and it will only get worse (I know this from experience!) if this is how it already is after such a short time. Sounds like everyone is probably watching their back with comments about not leaving before 6pm.

Are you being paid a salary or bonus structure which is still good considering your worked hours rather than contracted ones?

Is it likely that things will be different in six months time?

Whats happened to the other trainees, or perhaps those taken on before you?

Do you like working there?

It doesnt seem like an overly impressive company to work for, especially if those more senior are handing over work they dont know how to complete.

I feel for you. You're not being precious at all. Is it well paid? I take it you're not getting overtime for all the stuff you're doing? No solutions just some solidarity re stuff being crap

Thanks for the replies... I feel less alone reading them!

I'll answer the questions...

It's well paid, not hugely but above 30k so above average. There are bonus schemes in place but it's a case of 'earning enough' for the business to get them... and senior staff/supervising staff often claim the money/time I've done for themselves. That's completely normal in this industry though, so I have no expectation of a bonus and I don't consider it... it would just be good to feel ok in work.

It's a big company. Staff leave all the time and in the press for the industry they have the second highest turnover rate of staff... just remembers this point following a poster's comment above! Made me feel better!!

I hate working there. I constantly feel I'm being got at, and whilst I have a couple of close friends there, they work in a different department.

A colleague has suggested I bring it up tomorrow more formally? It's just not like me to want to cause drama, feel sick about it but also really confused and disillusioned with it all.

By all means raise it. You can't go on like this so you need to do something. Have you got a few main points you can make succinctly (as opposed to rant or getting emotional - I say that because of what I'm like, not you)

Feel sick about today

Whatever happens today can't be any worse than what's currently going on, right?

You'll be fine.

Wishing you the best today

I hope you manage to get some resolution today but I'm afraid I'm not holding my breath for you.
They sound totally incompetent.
Definitely start looking for a new job.
And who cares if you create a bit of drama.
It's clearly needed if they can't hold on to staff.
They need someone to tell them why!!!
Go for it and don't be shy about.
Professional, concise, factual.
That's all you need to be.

Is this recruitment or law or estate agency by any chance? My son works in IT and they have a load of clients in 'fee earning' companies. And in his experience they have terrible retention rates because they have become such 'salesy' jobs, which many really don't realise till they are stuck with it

Seems clear cut to me
Many companies in competitive lines of work operate churn and burn

Get as much out of the candidate as possible till they resign
Then the next person will be easy to find because the job is billed as a good opportunity
I'd move on ASAP, doesn't matter what you say
Only a change at the top will cause a culture change

Thanks everyone.

Currently having a weak moment... crying in the loos! Manager has been passive aggressive this morning and questioned why I asked another colleague for help on this document. I clearly can't do anything right. I want to leave.

I'm waiting to hear if I have an interview at a new place... should hopefully hear back today. Fingers crossed I can at least get to that stage!!

Good luck with the potential new job interview! Keep looking and applying for others. Regard yourself as halfway out the door of this dreadful place you're in already. You're just filling in time for a wage until you can get out. Which is actually the truth. You ARE capable and have survived the morning with a document no-one else could handle. You've likely got further with it than any of them, so congratulate yourself!

Their nasty incompetence is triggering self-doubt and any other buttons of fear/unworth that all people who give a damn have inside. Have a cry to release those negative emotions and just keep repeating "it's them, not me" They are sad losers and you'll be gone soon