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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

why? Why? WHYYYYY???????? Is it sooooo dificult to believe in God?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

24 replies

Chandra · 14/02/2007 17:35

some one tell me....

OP posts:
Beetrootccio · 14/02/2007 17:36

Because there is no proof

Chandra · 14/02/2007 17:36

Shameless tactic to get some sceptics to explain me why on Earth H doesn't believe me when I say I don't want to stay in this marriage...

Just that.

and appologies in advance for the double thread, double clicked over the mouse...

OP posts:
Beetrootccio · 14/02/2007 17:37
Chandra · 14/02/2007 17:38

Sorry Beetroot, perhaps I should start a new thread about this... sigh*

OP posts:
Ladymuck · 14/02/2007 17:38

I think that you need to give a little bit more background?

itsmeNDP · 14/02/2007 17:39

I will cut and paste

"By itsmeNDP on Wed 14-Feb-07 17:37:46
Athiests opinion coming up.... Brace yourself.....

Because there is no evidence whatsoever that he/she/it exists ?

Because the World is full of crap stuff happening to innocent people ?

Because science is so much more convincing ?"

paulaplumpbottom · 14/02/2007 17:48

What does believing in God have to do with your marriage?

nailpolish · 14/02/2007 17:51

loads paula, if you got married in church

mellowma · 14/02/2007 17:52

Message withdrawn

PeachyClairColouredRoses · 14/02/2007 17:57

Because you do or kyou don't really

you can't teach faith

especially whent ehre are so many disasters and so many people straving, homeless, sad

why should they believe someone is looking outn for them?

There are plenty of believable (to some people) answers for humanity and creation- all their followers would ask the same question- sor eally the answer is because it just IS. because if you don't believe it, you don't feel it, you can't comprehend it then it isnt.

Chandra · 14/02/2007 17:59

Ok, years ago my husband asked me to come to England for a 6m post doc... I put in hold my career for him to develop his a bit...problem is that he never wanted to go back.

I had the bad luck to end in a place where my area of knowledge was then somewhat underdeveloped so... no job for quite a long time, now the area has finally developed my knowledge is seriously out of date. So still, no coming back on doing what I loved.

To make matters worse, the circle of people that we relate to are here in a temporary basis, 8 years on we still don't have a good friend base mainly because they keep going away.

Having DS 4 years ago has stressed the need of having a stronger network around us, he promised me we would move back "next year" and has been doing the same since 6 yrs ago, which is exactly time when Is tarted beggin him to go back. No single day have passed in the last 7 years without me breaching the subject.

DH spends a lot of time travelling, so he doesn't realise the amount of work raising a child with severe allergies is, he keeps making mistakes that compromise the health of DS and he is never here to deal with the consequences.

To make the matters worse I have not really had reasonable support to deal with the horrible behaviour of his family.

I spend so much time in my own that I'm virtually a single mum. I think that we have got to the point where DH thinks that being married only means you can't sleep accross the bed so... after some stressful time I have called it a day.

And he doesn't believe me... however expects that I take any initiative to resolve the problems because I'm the one who is feeling like this. I just want out, I have asked him to leave but he says we are fine...how he gets to that idea I have not a clue, I have not even kissed him in several months, we have not being out in our own more than 6 times in the last 4 years and when he is around he is only playing with DS or plugged to the computer...

Any ideas about how to make him believe?

OP posts:
charliecat · 14/02/2007 18:01

Maybe print out that post? Sorry to hear this BTW.

Chandra · 14/02/2007 18:02

No, and this thread is not about God but about believing...

Please see 17:36 post

OP posts:
Chandra · 14/02/2007 18:05

Sorry Charliecat, cross posted. I have explained this to him ad nauseum but he says he is going to do something and just forgets 2 weeks later. We have had 3 rounds of Realate with same results. But, according to him... we are just fine.

OP posts:
PeachyClairColouredRoses · 14/02/2007 18:06

Ah now he's in denial

Book into relate, they do counselling to help couples split

don't know the whole story Chandra but what I have read RE allergies, and having allergic kids myself I quite get where you are coming from on that alone

charliecat · 14/02/2007 18:06

Start divorce procedings?

Chandra · 14/02/2007 18:08

Ok. How is the divorce process in this country... I was a bit worried yesterday when I saw something in the internet saying that to get divorced you have to be separated for at least 2 years... is this true?

OP posts:
Chandra · 14/02/2007 18:10

Thanks PeachyClair... I really don't know how things would have been if it wasn't for Mumsnet.

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 14/02/2007 18:21

I'm only at the beginning of the process myself, so can't say how long it will take in practice, but the two year minimum is if you are divorcing on the grounds that you live apart. If you want it to take less than two years and/or you don't live apart, the route to take is unreasonable behaviour. Google that, there's plenty of guidance available.

Chandra · 14/02/2007 18:26

Thank you

Love your name BTW

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 14/02/2007 18:33

Thanks Chandra

Chandra · 14/02/2007 18:37

I have done a google and unfortunately, it is not that he has a seriously intolerable behaviour it is more baout the lenght of time this behaviour has been taking place rather than the behaviour itself...

OP posts:
PeachyClairColouredRoses · 14/02/2007 18:38

Er chandra

the foods he gives your lo?

Easil;t grunds for dicorce, would count as abuse Fgs! genuinely- have worked in the field.

EASILY counts for whatever that legal phrase for shite behaviour is that escapes me now coz I have had a drink

Anniegetyourgun · 14/02/2007 18:54

You'd be surprised how easy it is to claim unreasonable behaviour. One of my workmates is being severely filleted by his wife on the grounds that he is too tidy among other things. Write down anything he does that annoys you, anything that's in any way unreasonable, and you'd be surprised how it builds up. What my solicitor said to me was, you don't have to prove he's so unreasonable nobody would live with him; you just have to prove the marriage has irretrievably broken down, which means you can't live with it. There are at least seven examples of what most people would consider unreasonable behaviour in your own fourth posting on this thread. See if you can tease them out...

In my case I was spoiled for choice over which things to put on the petition. It really was a horrendous list. I was embarrassed at how much I'd been putting up with over the years and pretending I was happy about. It seems horrible to write things down about another person, especially your own DH, but it's necessary and in some ways therapeutic too.

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