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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling like I'm going crazy

4 replies

gobacktoyou · 21/11/2016 15:10

My and my partner had an argument last night, and he comes upstairs and brought up something completely different to what we were arguing about 2 different conversations that we had over the weekend, it was as if he was trying to confuse me, and almost "win" the argument, he was saying things like "you don't know what your talking about", "you don't even know what day it is", I knew both conversations and I knew what I was talking about was right and he was there adamant at me trying to make me question myself, I'm on medication which could effect my memory but tbh it's fine and he goes "you can't even remember". He was twisting all of my words and trying to make out I've said things I've never said, I was sat there in complete shock I felt myself going hot and dizzy cos I just knew he was lying and I was right! It was like he was trying to make feel crazy, like to doubt myself! Has anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:
OohhThatsMe · 21/11/2016 15:12

It's called 'gaslighting' and it's a technique used by a lot of emotional abusers.

He sounds really horrible. What's he like normally?

hellsbellsmelons · 21/11/2016 15:17

Gaslighting abuse - google it.
It's a horrible form of abuse.
I assume there is more than just this weekend of arguments.
Do you live together?
Rent?
Sorry but it's not looking good.

gobacktoyou · 21/11/2016 15:32

I'll google that thanks.

He's ok, we've been together 3 years and have a 2 year old. We split in May from just bickering over silly things, and got back together a couple of months ago I just sometimes find him miserable.

I try so hard for us to be happy and "loved up" and I just don't think he's a very affectionate person, never compliments etc.

But last night really got to me, I burst into tears and said how can you say you love me, and because I turned away in bed he said don't turn away, he was stood by the door, I ignored him, he raised his voice then and said oi answer, then come beside me. Over anything he will raise his voice or get really ott over something not worth getting wound up about, I've tried talking to him about it.

OP posts:
pog100 · 21/11/2016 15:44

he sounds really horrible, you should never be talked to like this and I would split again, for good.

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