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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Should I leave DH? Long -sorry!

35 replies

ohsmellyjelly · 14/02/2007 13:52

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OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 14/02/2007 21:38

And if you were happy and not trying to pick fights, and just not fancying him, that would be one thing, but this is another.

Do you not have sex at all with him? I do find that having sex makes one (particularly women) want to have more sex.

Do you feel attractive, generally?

Original poster

ohsmellyjelly · 14/02/2007 21:40

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OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 14/02/2007 21:41

I think it sounds like you need a break, at least. I hope things get better for you. You do deserve to be happy, you know.

Original poster

ohsmellyjelly · 14/02/2007 21:41

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OP posts:

Original poster

ohsmellyjelly · 14/02/2007 21:43

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OP posts:

Stilllovely · 16/02/2007 23:06

The worst thing you can do is go round and round in your head. It will literally send you into a depression (I speak from experience and I wouldn't want anyone to go through what I did). There is nothing wrong with not wanting it to work anymore - you will be more miserable in the long term if you stay because you feel it 'should' work. If the two of you are friends and you split relatively amicably, then your children will be less traumatised than if you stay and become more trapped and more miserable. Time apart may well help, but don't think you need to come to your senses. What you need is space to work out what is right for you. It's not fun - I feel for you.

Bucketsofdynomite · 17/02/2007 09:23

Have a look here - if it looks familiar it will help if you have a name for your pain. All the rest of your troubles could well stem from this (and it's sooooo common but for some reason not familiar to most GPs ).
I think your dh sounds too good to lose and I think you need to get well before reassessing your marriage. Good luck.

Original poster

ohsmellyjelly · 17/02/2007 20:16

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Bucketsofdynomite · 19/02/2007 09:33

Go to your GP and cry on him. Give him the printed out leaflet and ask to go on the waiting list for counselling (with a psychodynamic psychotherapist if poss - very hard work but very good for you).

charlottegeorgiaolivermums · 11/03/2007 21:36

ohs,
my dh said she's angry and shocked he needs time to think. dh said he'll come back to talk to you about whats happened may be in the middle of night may not be until tomorrow or next day but he will not turn his bad and never return. Your scared I now but give him time to think and when he comes back talk openly and be totally honest why did you write letter, what made you feel you had too something must have been not right in your life etc.
(hugs coming your way)

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